My Heart and Soul....
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2002-10-15 19:39:15 (UTC)

It's been a while....

Well....it's been quite a while since I wrote, and the few
people who take the time to read this have been complaining,
so I figured I better take some valuable time out of my day
to update everyone.

If you haven't heard, I joined the Army. I'm in the delayed
entry program, which means I don't ship out until after
Graduation....so thats good. Also, there is a clause that
states that if I am do recieve a scholarship from a
University, I still have the option to take that. Which
means Florida State isn't TOTALLY out of the question. But I
do feel really good about the Army. I know it's not "me" and
it's not what people expected of me, but just the same, I
feel good about it. For the first time in my life, I feel
like I actually have direction, and a plan that is
guranteed...and it's in the field that I love. All those
years with Mrs. Feldman with FINALLY pay off... :-
hahaha...you know...

Uhmm...school...is crazy. Lots of work all the time. I
resigned from President of the U.N. team. I was getting too
much dumped on me from all the other members, and I just
didn't have time for it with all the other commitments I
have right now. But the advisor agrees with me 100%, and is
in total support of me, because this way I am also free to
help out my classmates. So, I feel good about that and where
the team is going. My other classes are just really busy. So
much for senior year being busy.

Personal life: Upheaval. Does this suprise anyone? UGH!
Where to start....friends I guess. Well...I was very happy
to come home the other day to some very nice messages from a
certain best friend of mine. Letting me know that she loves
me, and is there for me. It's not like I even doubted that
she was, cause this girl has had my back 100% of the time
since two years ago this month. I have never, and probably
will never, find another friend as wonderful as Gaby. "Best
friends are the sisters God forgot to give us." Well...I
guess so, cause I couldn't have hand picked a better one. I
owe so much to that girl, and it kills me that she has to be
going through this whole college thing without me. Ilove my
senior year, but I just feel like I should be having lunch
with her, and bitching about professors....friend stuff that
I feel like we are missing out on. It sucks. I know life is
like that. And the challenges we are faced with leave us
only 2 options: To succomb to weakness, or to overcome them.
I know that we will be ok, cause we've got each other, and
that's all we need. I love you like a sister Gabs.
Other friends: I don't want to offend people. My ex always
used to be on my case for having more than one best friend.
Well...I can't help it. All my girls....they're all there
for me in one way or another. I could call them "good"
friends, but it's just not a descriptive enough word. If
you've been there....had that one groupd of friends that
even with 1300 miles between some of them, they are
inseperable....you know how it is. I value friendships very
highly, and there isn't one person in my life who doesn't
mean something to me. So all my friends (guys too...i don't
want to sound like I'm forgetting my boys who I love to
death) they mean the world to me...ALL OF THEM! And I
couldn't ask for a better group of people to surround myself

I guess family is....family. I love them. I miss the ones
that I don't see enough, but I still call and e-mail....so I
know that everything is ok. And we're getting to that time
of year with everyones birthday, so we'll all be spending an
awful lot of time together.

Guys: You know how that goes! BLAH. I swear. I am bound to
be single for ever. Some people, I know, have figured out
that I MAY have a crush on someone. BUT I am not the kind of
girl who is gonna approach the guy. Especially due to
circumstances. One of my Best friends ex's...a good friend
of mine. That makes a lot of things really hard. To top it
off, I don't even know if he likes me. So I guess I will
just let things happen. Mr. deFranco informed me today that
I have the rest of my life to find the perfect guy, and I
"sure as hell am not going to find him in Ovid NY!"
Yes....my Law teacher does discuss my relationship status
with me. Very healthy I fiugre. I guess it's good to know
that people are looking out for me.

WOW! I get so wordy in this thing. YIKES! I still don't know
how I feel about this whole everyone knowing how I feel and
stuff. But it makes me feel good, so I guess I will keep
writing, until I find a reason not to....

So...I love you all! BIG KISS!!


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