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This happend BEFORE Tommy`s birthday, so you can read my
last entery afther this oki?
Some weeks ago I got this idea that Tommy didnt love my and
was better off with out me. So I kind of avoided him, that
is, I called a thousend times, and we got to see each other
in a few hours at the time but we was never home at each
others places anymore. He asked if I please could go home
with him but I always had homework, cleaning or something
else to do. (right)
It was always he who had to come and see me eather on the
cyber cafe or when I was babysitting.
Then one weekend, (he always comes and see me in the cyber
cafe in weekends) he couldnt come on the Sunday only in the
Satturday because he was going out with some friends.
I thought I would be happy because of this, cauz he allmost
never go out with his friends, it was just a few boys going
out for go cart and pizza.
I tryed to call him in the evneing but bouth phones (his
private and work mobile phone) thats weird, so I sent him a
long sweety message and went to bed. Next morning I stil
haddnt heard anything from Tommy, I sent him a nother sweet
morning message and waited all day.
Usally he calls me when the sport is done on tv, so I
waited all Monday but no, no call. So I called him my self,
he was in a hurry, cause he wanted to go jogging (he
allmost never go jogging but now he had to)
It made me so sad the way we talked in the phone, verry ironic not
fighting or anything, so I cryed a lot aftherwards.
He promised he was going to call the next day, and he did early and
he said it would be late so I`d better stay up. I didnt pick up the
phone and he only called once.
Remeber Im used to S*, and we never gives up before we get to talk to
A few half an hours afther midnight I sent him a message
saying "thank you for carring so much about your sick girlfriend, but
I know Liverpool won today so at least one of us are happy.." (He was
going home to some guy from work to watch the game)
I got a message "are you still awake?" and answerd "what do you
think?" he tryed to call me ONE more time and I did not pick up. I
sendt him a new message "you dont call me so you can feel
better" ..or something like that.. I wated for him to call me til
03.30 but he didnt! I cryes my eyes off!!!
But I could not just lie there in my bed all that time, so I sent a
message to Chris, he answers and we went on and off like that a while
before he called me. We talked, he was actully going out from his
house, in his car and was on his was home to my place (sounds
familiar?!?) to see me, but I got to stopp him, and since he has been
working so much overtime that the day afther he had to take a day off
we aggred to meet.
I was a bit worrid about that part, because the plan was to go home
to his place because I have never seen it before!
But things beteween me and Chris has in the last time become a verry
sexual, we joke around with it a lot! Werid, we did it before to, but
never the same way we do now that Im with Tommy, when I think about
it a lot of things has changed since I told Chris about Tommy...
Hmm, not good.
Oh well, we meet in town I said I had something to fix so that I had
to go into town or elswhere I could just have gone straight to his
place. He came to pick me up, I said lets go for a walk (= lets do
something where its a lot of people and we wont do anything stupid)
he had just got up from bed and wanted to go home for "breakfast" -
if you can vall it that in the middle of the day!
So he drove me to his plave, bigger but not nicer that Tommy`s place.
Tommy have a small verry nice place;-)
He showed me every room, including his bedroom, hehe.
In the beginning it was borring, but it became better, eh, just
remember one thing: Im not a slut!
In the end we was cuddling a whole lot (to much if you think about
that I got a boyfriend and me and Chris are just friends) We did not
once kiss or sleep tougether, but a whole lot og toughing, huging and
stuff like that. In the end he was lying on the coach and I was lying
on top of him, verry good, I feelt safe butr comfused in the same
time. I got mixed feelings for Chris now..
I would not say that I had an affair, we did not even kiss and more
inportant we did not sleep tougether!!!
When I came home afther a while Tommy called, I wanted to see how
manny times he was going to call me, but it was only this one time so
I went to bed crying my eyes off agen!
Then I found out that enught was enught so I went so see him,
Thursday was one hell or a borring day, let me tell you..
I had to get up early so I could pack, then at school we had two
hours of Norwegian and two hours with french. I had to go to the
doctor, my appointment was 13.10, I was there 12.55 and got to see my
doctor 13.35!! That was borring, no magazines to read or anything!!
I`ll tell you more about the whole doctor thing later..
Then I took the buss in to town (45 minutes from my doctor) well,
first I had to wait for the buss, the find a buss from town to the
part where Tommy lives, about 15 minutes waiting and 7 minutes on a
buss. Then go from the mall to Tommy`s place and wait for him.
He is done at work at 16.00 but is usaly home about 16.15 -16.45, I
was there 15.55 and waited on his front porch, it was verry cold and
verry borring. (yes I have the key so I could have gone inside, but
that would not have the same effect) i wassnt there to say hello
darling, I wanted to konw if we where stil a cupple.
But no Tommy... I tok the bus home, was pissed cause I had wasted a
whole day, the only thing I had been doing was waiting.
Then Tommy called agen, right..
So he`s not S* who will do anything to get to me, I`ll better give up
this stupid game, like I was supose to on Tuseday. (My plan the whole
week before was to call him on Tuseday and ask if it was okey that I
came to visst him, witch I knew that I was, he always says that i can
come anytime I want to, but then he made all this planes for this
So I picked up the phone and we talked, but not like we used to, I
was verry quiet, wanted him to know that I was verry hurt.
The next day I talked a little bit more, not not as usal.
We decided that I was going home to his place afther work Saturday.
First when he came to se me it was weird to see him agen, I was stil
hurt but it was good to talk to him. But I didnt wanted him to touch
me so I was awaiding to be to close, it allmost got me hit by a buss!!
But it became better and by the end of the night I could not have
enugh of him...
Then we had Sunday and then Monday came -his birthday you can read
about it in the enrty before this one.
I havent got any feedback on my diary for a while so that would be
Now its better than ever between Tommy and me, but more about that