Meshed Up
2002-10-15 09:15:09 (UTC)


i found him cute and apparently he found me cute too. mom
knew he was rich because of his last name. he was spanish,
portugese, chinese and filipino. his name is david. and he
was my first boyfriend.

i was pretty much taken by him. he was charming, funny, and
his 'mixed' look and blood added to his appeal. his hair
smelled of clairol, his body of acqua di. he had clear
skin, big expressive eyes, and a cute smile.

i remember the first time he touched my waist. we were
hiking on the mountains then with a group of friends and he
was 'assisting' me. guiding me through the rockiness of the
land, lending me a hand whenever i had to jump down from a
ledge, or some other stuff like that. who was i to refuse?
i was fourteen or thirteen and he was two years older than
me. i felt like a celebrity.

i remember the time when he asked if he could kiss me. it
was one simple peck on the cheek. it happened after i told
him that i liked him. but when i said that i liked him, i
meant that i liked him as a friend. who would've known that
he would take it the wrong way? he burst out saying, 'i
like you too candice. god you don't know how much i like
you. i know you don't want a boyfriend and i don't want a
girlfriend but is it okay if we're more than just friends
to each other?'

we got together a few months after that.

it was fun. we hung out and met loads of friends. we
talked. we went to the prom together. and i got my first
taste of ravioli...thanks to his mom.

we used to promise to each other that we would still be
best friends if things don't work out between us. we were
happy. breaking up seemed so impossible.

but of course, breaking up wasn't impossible. like most
teen relationships, ours didn't last very long. after six
months, he went to america for three weeks. when he came
back, he asked me to call him. and i did.

he told me that he had a dream. he had a dream that he was
with his family and nikki (a girl that he used to like). he
dreamt that he was with them and he felt like he was in
heaven. he just felt so happy. and he said that he didn't
want to continue the relationship anymore. maybe because he
was still in love with nikki.

it took me three days and three nights to get over him. he
was the last person that i thought of when i went to sleep,
and the first person that came to mind when i woke up. when
i went out, i saw his name constantly in the streets.
david's salon. david's grocery. david's whatever. i
just...saw his name.

i forgot about him afterwards. recently i heard stories
about him, that he's been flunking some of his subjects in
uni, and that he dresses like he's going to a rave party
every single day.

it wasn't a great relationship. it was fuelled by physical
attraction. we claimed that we loved each other but we
didn't even know what love meant. we were in a relationship
just for the sake of being able to call someone a boyfriend
or a girlfriend. we were in a relationship because it was
the fun thing to do...the in thing to do...the cool thing
to do.

he eventually got together with nikki but they broke up
shortly afterwards. i remember when he told me about it.
one of nikki's parting words to him was, 'i don't regret
breaking up with you.'

i can't even consider david my first love. all i know is,
he used to be a part of my life. everytime i look at
pictures of him, i remember those times and i kinda smile
to myself. it reminds me of the time when i was still
innocent about things such as love and relationships.

i've lost contact with him a long time ago. so much for the
promise that we would still be best friends even if we
break up. many promises go unfulfilled. not that i mind. least i know i'll forever be a part of his memory.
and he'll forever be a part of mine. that should be enough.