you cant escape what makes you tragic
today still sucks
today still sucks only now it is the night. the sand man
has yet to visit my sleepy little eyes so it will be a time
before rest is attanable. all the better things have been
done already so i shall write a bit.
my mind is racing with things but to pin point one specific
thought, i fear, would be devistating. to do that would
stop the confusion, the mystery, the very things that are
both attributes and 'i love her BUT ____'s. i fear my fate
would lie in a black hole of insanity if i were ever to
actually understand myself.
someone cried out from above me-- while most people would
be concerned or sympathetic i am not most people and it
only pisses me off. i know it was my mum. i know she is
huring. i know i should help her more but never will i do
such a thing because i hate her so. if i am merely a
teenager being a teenager then i shall grow out of my
stubborn ways and possibly grow to love her but until that
day comes i shall act the way i like...terrible
i laugh in the faces of the people who call me a 'nice
girl'. the truth is i am not. i posess many good qualities
but being nice is not one of them. i am as heartless and
cold as the barren, ice consumed lands of antartica.
i think i shall move to antartica when i am grown. there
would be no one there to annoy me. true, a dreary existance
it would be, alone all the time, sacrifices must be made.
now that i have thuroughly twisted my brain to mush trying
to figure out what the fuck i have been rambling about the
night is taking its toll on me so i must be off now.