you cant escape what makes you tragic
Ad 2:
2002-10-15 03:09:09 (UTC)

today still sucks

today still sucks only now it is the night. the sand man
has yet to visit my sleepy little eyes so it will be a time
before rest is attanable. all the better things have been
done already so i shall write a bit.

my mind is racing with things but to pin point one specific
thought, i fear, would be devistating. to do that would
stop the confusion, the mystery, the very things that are
both attributes and 'i love her BUT ____'s. i fear my fate
would lie in a black hole of insanity if i were ever to
actually understand myself.

someone cried out from above me-- while most people would
be concerned or sympathetic i am not most people and it
only pisses me off. i know it was my mum. i know she is
huring. i know i should help her more but never will i do
such a thing because i hate her so. if i am merely a
teenager being a teenager then i shall grow out of my
stubborn ways and possibly grow to love her but until that
day comes i shall act the way i like...terrible

i laugh in the faces of the people who call me a 'nice
girl'. the truth is i am not. i posess many good qualities
but being nice is not one of them. i am as heartless and
cold as the barren, ice consumed lands of antartica.

i think i shall move to antartica when i am grown. there
would be no one there to annoy me. true, a dreary existance
it would be, alone all the time, sacrifices must be made.

now that i have thuroughly twisted my brain to mush trying
to figure out what the fuck i have been rambling about the
night is taking its toll on me so i must be off now.