chaoticxpression

my simple small world
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2002-10-15 00:23:18 (UTC)

hmmm....

I close my eyes, and the past slaps me in the face.
For not caring, I sure think about Draviea alot..
As for starfish, I'm trying to avoid contact with him.
Well, not really, just I'm trying not to put to much of my
attention on him since that's just bad for me.Worse then
smoking crack at this point....
But yeah, I dreamt of Draveia last nite....just like the
nite before.I'm wondering what he's doing, I'm wondering
who he's with....I wonder if he wonders about me.(of course
not)
The weird part is I'm not "into" him like I used to be,
honestly I'm quite angry at this situation.But every nite,
I'm tempted to drive an hour and a half to see him...but at
the last minute, do to physical factors....I get to tired
to move and think fuck it, it's not that important...
I really wanna see him though..I can't deny that.
And secretly I hope he's ok, and he's broken his addiction.
After what he put me through, this is INSANE, but still...
I don't know....
I wonder what I'm gonna name the baby...
Abortion is wrong...and homocide, plus it's to late for
that.
Adoption, I could never give up a child....
Meredith, I like that name....or if it's a boy, Zachariah.
I don't know...
I'm on my own with this though...
OH well.....


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