Lady Marmelade

Days of Reality
2001-08-03 14:26:35 (UTC)

HELLO!!! I'M BACK!!!! :)

well, haven't written in this shit for like ever. but got my
reasons, u no. i got grounded off the goddammn internet for
like, 2 weeks. cuz like, my weird parents think i'm on it
too much. whatev.

ne way, glad i'm finally allowed on this again. well, not
xactly. i kinda had to hack and do a whole buncha comp whiz
stuff that i didn't no i could do. aparently, neither did my
parents. so i finally found the internet thingie, and i also
hacked into my daddy's password. (smart, eh? i feel so smart
right now...hehe)

roxy, u suck. stop calling me rae-rae. it's not right. my
name is laura. just cuz my middle name sounds like tat, and
the fact that i'm (just a bit) like rachel on 'friends'
does not give u the right to call me rae-rae. it makes me
sound very blonde. which i'm not. btw. so like, if i see u
calling me rae-rae again, guess wat nickname i'm gonna be
using on u? u won't like it. (hint: ho, lol)

yeah, i actually have a list of thing i wanna change too.
hmmm, hmmm. yeah, here they are:

1: i wanna lose weight. (roxy, don't u dare yell at me) i
don't no why, i just want to. maybe i dont' sound like i
weight a lot, but i look like i do. 103 lb isn't suppposed
to look as fat as i do. i am fat. u should see my flubbery
middle. and then u can also see that my stupid ass is
growing. now, that's actually potentially a good thing, but
don't over grow, please don't. so my goal is to become 98
pounds. sounds bout right.

2: look different. i'm gonna look a bit different. i like my
glasses, cuz they definitely don't look nerdy. actually,
roxy and i have glasses that actually look pretty much like
fashion accessories. so tats good. i want a different hair
style. right now, i have hair like layered (all over) to my
shoulder blades. kinda like rachel on 'friends' the first
season or so. but now, i decided that i only want the front
layered. so i'm gonna cut my hair (just a bit) but not layer
it at the back. it's gonna grow and then it's gonna be a
straight line at the back, but angled at the front.

3. dress different. no, actually, never mind. i'm happy with
the way i dress. if i dress any 'sexier', i'll be considered
a slut. so yeah. cross this one out.

4. (techinically still #3) i want to be nicer. more like
belle black on 'days of our lives'. u no, the innocent, cute
girl that's bruttally popular. i'm gonna stop being mean to
ppl that look weird. i'm gonna stop making fun of ugly and
fat ppl. it's gonna take some work, but i'll try.

5. be nicer to boys. still flirting, but also acting
innocent and wanting to be their friend. it turns them
on like hell. like, when they say something, u actually
listen (or look like ur actually listening). i dont' wanna
be the sex pot of the class. not that i was ever one, but
precaution is very important.

6. and most importantly (i don't know why i made it #6), i
want to be happy with the way i look. so that pretty much
clashes with the first 3 goals, but whatev. i mean, i
shouldn't consider myself fat or ugly anymore. i'm gonna luv
myself. cuz only when i have confidence inside, i'm gonna
look confident outside. i mean, i cant' look all THAT bad (i
think). or guys wouldn't be checking me out on the streets
all the time now, would they? nobody's ever meaningfully
called me fat either, so i can't be totally overweight. hmm,
this is getting good. and my friends wouldn't call me pretty
if i wasn't, would they? well, they would cuz they're my
friend. so they don' count. actually, roxy, tell me what u
REALLY think about the way i look. i'll call u later. and
all the girls in chinese school wouldn't openly envy me if i
was like them, right? believe me, u dont' wanna be like
them. they dress like they dont' know shit bout fashion,
they are twigs with no boobs or ass or ne thing at all. they
are major losers and nerds at their school, or 90% of them
ne way. so yeah, i'm gonna love myself if tats the last
thing i do. can't be so hard, can it?