browneyedgirl

Lost and Found
2001-08-03 11:58:22 (UTC)

him

I have had the most hellish week.

My boyfriend is an asshole.

(Mmmm juvenile dear, your supposed to call him your partner
and vaguely hint at "problems")

And I have become exactly what I swore I never would, one
of those women who gets treated like crap, over and over
again. The type of woman other women feel sorry for and nod
wisely and say "pooor thing he'll never change." Thats his
constant refrain "I'll change just give me another chance"
and i nod knowing full well that he wont and shrug my
shoulders and say ok because, because I love him.

I dont love the way he treats me.

I dont love the way he lies.

I dont love the way he keep secrets.

I dont love his betrayals.

I dont love his demands.

I dont love the way he wants me to be less than he is.

I dont love the way he wants things his way or the highway.

I dont love his accusations.

I dont love the way he spies on me.

I dont love the way he ignores me if I dont "behave".

I dont love the way he makes me feel about myself.

I dont love the way I can never tell him that he has hurt
me.

What do I love?
What do I love?
What do I love?
Why do I stay?
Why do I stay?
Why do I stay?

I dream of better days. I dream of happiness. I dream of
being free. I dream and that means I am ready. There is
still time. I will leave.