Melly

Does this thing come with a manual?
2002-10-14 02:33:38 (UTC)

House Sitting

So I just ended my gig housesitting for Mary. It was real
nice to get away from my own dirty unorganized house for a
couple days. I got to see WHote Oleander on it's opening
night. OMG!!! It was such a good movie!!! It's been a while
since I really raved about a Michelle Pfeiffer movie. I
think she may get an oscar nod for this one. It was nice to
hang out with Spo and CH. I was in a weird mood that night
though. Spo could tell I was not me. I felt lonely is what
it was. Like sometimes I am tired of knowing I will go home
to no one. And to top it off, White Oleander hit too close
to home. I cried a bit. Thinking about the years I spent
wanting to go home to my mother. Not understanding how she
kept me trapped in her world. All the while never showing
an ounce of concern about me. I wasn't prepared to see a
movie like that.

I felt like an ass how quiet and reserved I was. When MJ
called, I was all but ready to go. She always understood
me. She stayed the night with me at Mary's. I just wanted
to hold her all night long. It was just what I needed. I
woke up the next day feeling much better. We went to
breakfast and laughed and had a good time. I didn't really
tell MJ how I was feeling. But I think deep down, she knew
something. Saturday was nice. DS & CR came over later in
the afternoon. We watched movies. Drank. Had nice
conversation. I was pretty drunk last night. The Jacuzzi
felt great. And I couldn't believe I got into the pool as
cold as it was. But, I think I will stay away from a
Denny's and Tom's for a while. I am so fucking tired. I
couldn't keep my eyes open today. Three hours of sleep will
not do.

I felt a little more distant from them this time. After
knowing how things are in our group, it's hard not to think
about why they aren't doing something or trying to make it
at least a little bit right. It's like they don't care or
something. Like, gee we don't need a friend in our life. We
will just go on as if nothing ever happened. True friends
would at least try and fix it somehow. At least I know I
would. It concerns me to think that they could go on
without trying to fix it. I feel like I am in high school
again. A friend triangle gone wrong. Well whatever, I am
not going to fret over it. Shit happens. I tired and I am
going to make this an early night.




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