jtdarkly

Mirror's Infinity
2001-01-24 22:41:07 (UTC)

I know I haven t been writting..

I know I haven't been writting like I should. I keep
waiting to write something really prolific, but that only
really happens when I have strong emotions... and lately I
have just been sort of floating emotionally I guess. I
know in alot of ways I am unhappy with certain elements of
my life... but not so much that I am willing to do much
about them or even figure out really why.
So today I am forcing myself to sit down and write. Last
night I went out on a weekday to Uptown. Something I
really shouldn't do since I have trouble getting up as it
is. Sometimes I wonder why my current job puts up with
it... it is very unprofessional of me. But they are
somewhat understanding of the distance I travel
everyday...it is 70 freaking miles to work and 70 home. It
sucks! Why would I ever do that to myself... hmmm well I
have worked at this company in various capacities for a
long while and it was easy to get a job there. So once
again it comes down to me being somewhat lazy. I admit
it...I am lazy as are most people I think. I dont really
associate alot of negative connotation with that word
though. So don't think it is necessarily a bad thing to be
lazy at the first take on a situation. We are all human..
and tend to go the path of least resistance. Really great
people wake up though and realize that the path of least
resistance may be easy, but may not be where you are
going. So that is what I am trying to do..wake myself
up...like in DUNE "The sleeper must awaken" I hope I will
be strong enough and brave enough to dream again...and
pursue those dreams. Hmmm I was thinking of things to
write about and think about the other day but wasn't at or
near a computer at the time. So I wanted to write myself a
little reminder while I still have them in mind: gay
marriage, the rapant conservativism at work...being gay.. I
dunno maybe some more. I didn't tell you about last
night.. not that is much to tell. Hmm.. maybe I will do it
later. I am running out of steam again.


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