Timothy

Jack's Twisted Kingdom
2002-10-13 19:50:39 (UTC)

Fuck-A-Thon Interrupted...

yeah, I ripped it from "girl interrupted... sue me...


So, there we were...

FUCKING... lots... My Goddess of the Sky and i ended up at her apt,
instead of going back to my place, because i lost my keys.. dumb ass.
I am...


Anyways... so we were talking... after we'd finished, once
again...

we ended up on the subject of "breaking up"...

and she wanted to know, what would make me break up with
someone... she told me hers, and so...

and i told her what my top 3 would have to be...

one... cheating on me... thats a fair one... if you don't
want to be with someone, just tell them, for instance, if i
was with her and we were dating, if she or I cheated, then it
would only be fair to tell the other person. Logical, and i
mean, not really realistic, but man... it's just an all round
bad scene...

two... never being able to not argue for one day, constantly
at each others throats, and basic stuff like that. I mean,
you can't be with someone and fight everyday, it just wears
down on you, and you just start not caring about everything.

and three...

Ya ready for it? I wasn't ready for what happened
afterwards...

three... if you were pregnant and had an abortion without
telling me...

HOLY FUCK!

The look on My Goddess of the Sky's face... then the tears, and then
the getting up and screaming at me to get out...

I never asked her why her boi-friend dumped her. I didn't
think it was my business...

I ususally ask why, she told me it was complicated, and I
left it at that...

After twenty minutes of her crying, she finally comes back
into bed and hugs me...

I am speachless... a rare thing indeed..

For she was pregnant, right now, still is... and she is going
to have an abortion... in two weeks...

Her boi friend, is one of those fucked up people, who doesn't
think a woman has a choice about her own body...

He dumped her, because she doesn't want to have a baby, not
now, maybe not ever...

And I somehow, keyed into it... maybe I didn't, maybe I did.
she did ask me what happened when kristen and I had sex
without any birth control, and I said, "she never got
pregnant, so I never worried about it." and she asked me what
would have happened if she did. and my usual answer is..

"so babe, when we going to the clinic?"

She gave me a funny look, and I simply dismisssed it...

There are times, when I can figure something out, without
even really knowing whats going on, and sometimes, it happens
when I least expect it..

I do this thing, i can tell sometimes through kinetic
movements, how a person is talking, and what they really
mean, and sometimes, what they aren't saying..

I am pretty good, there have been times, where my intuition
is incredibly high, others so low, you'd need a microscope to
find it...

And somewhere in my sub-conscious, i figured out, or somehow
clued in to what it was. because, honestly, what I had meant,
by the who pregnancy thing, was

"if you are pregnant, and don't tell, and want to keep it or don't want to."
I would dump you, or seriously think about it, if you don't tell me..

I would be angry, I would be scared, I mean for fucks sake, i
can barely take care of myself, how the hell would I be able
to care for someone else... let alone a baby...

anyways... she said, i could stay for an hour or so, and then
i had to leave... she needed to be alone...

do you know, how different sex is, when you are having it
with a pregnant girl?

or rather with the knowledge that you were fucking her brains
out, flipping her and yourself into a hundred different
posisitions and just going at it like monkeys, and now, she's
pregnant...

fucking weird...

i mean, suddenly, I was there making love to her...

i wasn't fucking her...

it was surreal...

i think I must have given her like 4 orgasms, and then, i had
three, and then, we just held each other for about a half
hour...

i had a shower, got dressed, and went back to my apt to
change, fortunetly my roommate was there..

but man....

what the fuck?

how the hell do these things happen?

I don't get it... i never will...

where's kristin when i need her to hold me? she gives really
nice hugs...

sigh, and I really need one...


~T~