Lizzie's Life in a Nutshell
2001-08-03 02:36:41 (UTC)

Zebras, Giraffes, and Boys.

Well guys...its been weeks since i have written in here.
Why you ask?! Welp, it's because i am home...thats why! I
dont have that boring time where i can just sit here before
or after class to write, ya know? I am home. I've been
doing stuff. My piccolo posse and I went to Swings 'n'
Things a couple weeks ago to play putt putt (its a putt
putt/bumperboats/go karts/arcade). It was a lot of fun. Ya
know those light houses and houses they have at putt putt
courses? We crawled into one...hehe it was funny. Then we
took our clubs and balls and stuck them in the trunk of the
car. We always joked about it cuz i stuck them in my pants
once...but never did it. We got a kick outta it. Then Lisa
and I were big girls and went to Cedar Point and didnt get
lost! We had a TON of fun there! It was just us going on
the rides and checking out the boys! woo! We picked up 11
guys...no lie, we counted. Our favs were the ones we got
while in line for Millenium Force. (damn good coaster!).
Then we drove with the top down oo convertable on the way
home...listening to Josie and the Pussycats, that was after
we were done singing the theme to the Brady Bunch. Dont
ask...im not even sure myself! Then this past weekend, my
mom and I went to Sandusky to the Great Bear Lodge. It had
an indoor water park. It was so neat and huge! We went to
the Drive through african safari. Oh god was i in heaven
(im the animal lover zoologist chick). I was petting
giraffes as they stuck their heads through the window of my
car...and zebras, too! Oh it was great! I took a ton of
pictures! Then after that my mom and i went to the pool and
layed out and swam. Then after a while we chilled then got
dressed again and went to Cedar Point. After cedar point we
came back and went to the water park to the hot tub and
then swimming pool. Then we got dressed one last time and
went and ordered home-made chocolate milk shakes. Yum! Hmm,
yes that weekend was so much fun!! NOW... Wednesday, Today
and Tomorrow im watching my 3yr old twin nieces. I love
them dearly...but damn, they are hard to handle! I give
props to my sister in law and brother.
Well now what else...oh yes. Monday i start tennis
practice/tryouts. Im so nervous. I dont think i'll play cuz
ive let myself go the past couple weeks because ive become
depressed again. Depression sucks, especially when i dont
admit it or tell it to my mom. She asked me if i wanted to
go to the psychiatrist, but i said i didnt need to. What a
big, fat lie that was. I think i should go, but i dont want
to. I just think...well...i dunno. I know i need to go, the
other night i got so bad i started crying and crying for
some reason and just wished death upon myself. THATS when i
know i need help. BUT, i just dont seem to want to let
myself believe that i still need it. Ya know? I just dont
want to mess up my Senior year of highschool. I have so
much to look forward to. And i have college to look forward
to. Im applying to Michigan State University and Univeristy
of South Florida. Those are good schools. Lisa wants me to
apply to Coastal Carolina University so we could be
together. I might. They dont have zoology though, they have
marine bio...which is my 2nd, and thats what lisa is doing
too. So...if i got accepted there id go. Oh too much stuff.
I think im stressed out. I think i work myself too
hard...or not enough. Thats why i went to OU for the
summer. I was so good there, and then i got home and became
depressed again. Now a lot of times i dont want to even be
here anymore again. I just cant work it up to tell my
mother again...and to tell her i lied to her about being
well. AHHHH too much! And i have band camp (im vice pres),
so i HAVE to be there and take on a lot of responsibility.
Oh hell i just need to stop and think. But when i think i
do this and babble on. See i started all happy and talking
about vacations and boys and such...then i just got all
blah. GRRRR...:( If you have ANY advice...anybody, please
help me. i would appreciate it. i just dont know what to do
now again. i let myself go.