The Basement
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2002-10-13 07:32:16 (UTC)

emptyly darker...

ehh...lolz weird title...
::sigh:: u kno...the harder u try to forget, the harder it
comes at you. Iono..i'm just really messed up and confused
right now. I'm just...empty.
I can feel it... my heart is still beating,but my head it
blank. I'm depressed, but happy that I'm depressed. This is
hella messed. And I tohught it couldn't get any weirder,
Thursday I went online like usual. Then J was online.
We havent talked for almost a month and now all of a sudden
she calls me up. We talked a bit, she was on the cell phone
and I have 2 lines so we were both online still. The things
we couldn't say on the phone, we said online. I was
nervouse so I kept on freakin "lol"ing on everything cuz i
felt awkward. yea yea, dumbass meeh. then it was all
quiet,on both lines, and then aiming, she asked me all of a
sudden if I'll wait for her... I was caught off guard and
didn't kno wut to say. I seriously tohught she dun care no
more. I then told her "yea, I will." and yep..I LOLed
(stupid!) and she thought I was laughign at her. I was
gonna explain, but then i didnt..dunno why. What I really
wanted to say was that I'll wait for her no matter how long
it took.I promised, and I always keep my promises, even if
its one that will probably be forgotten by me or her.
It soudns weird dun it? I mean, sure ppl fall "inlove"
onlien and all that fakey shit alot. But then they grasp a
bit of their senses and go for someone next door "cheating"
and then "breaking up". But to me, J was...real.I dunno how
to explain it. She just "is" and always will be.
And that, ladies and gents, is how my hearted started
beating again. I'm still a zombie, but that one question
just lit a lil fire and suddenly I'm not runnign around in
the dark anymore. She gave me a reason to live again. To
just live off of that little promise.But i guess in a way
its not just a promise, it became my being. She gave a
reason and I will fulfill it.and thats that. weird huh?
lolz...probably lost u a longway bak huh? well I guess I'm
confusing myself now.

I said I'll wait for you and I will.
Ur still my heart and soul even if you dun kno it.

lolz,guess I'll say the "L" word now huh?
::gasps from audience::

...I still love you...