Crazy4Jah03

The diary of a hardcore psycho punker --
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2002-10-13 07:15:19 (UTC)

Subway WAS fun...

Man! I just got back from work tonight and it sooo sucked!
Cheryl came in and January and I had been doing prep all
night and it was hard to hold things together. Cheryl asked
if we'd sat around all night and it made me feel really bad
like I didn't do things right. It's like when I get
comfortable @ work, I start to slack on the job and when
I'm trying my hardest like Robert & Cheryl are right there,
my work looks really good. I'm just all freaked out that
they'll fire me. I really don't want that but working at
Subway is getting pretty boring. I do the same thing every
single freakin time I work. It's so boring. It was fun at
first and it still is when I work with certain people but
like I never get to. I never get to work with Joel or
January and I always seem to work with Teri who is 27 and
it's really boring. This wednesday, I'm working with Nicole
and Teri and I'm dreading it! I know Nicole is going to be
lazy the whole time like she always is. GRRR I hate it!
Joel and I were supposed to go to a concert together though
but if he doesn't call me, that's not gonna happen. Joel
and I both can't stand working with Nicole. That's one
thing we have in common! lol Every time, Joel and I have
soo much fun! We get our work done but we also have fun and
hang out too. We like the same kind of music and we're not
always rushed and we don't get bored like I do with
everyone else. It sucks big time. I don't even get to work
with Joel this week or the next. =( Oh well. I hope he
calls.

You know, amazingly, I haven't really been thinking about
Zac that much. It's crazy! I really don't think he likes me
that much and if he does, it's proly just as friends. Oh
well. =(

I feel so lonely though. Life is just so BORING to me right
now! I hate it. I wish I had it "goin on" and had it all
together. Instead, life is so crazy for me and it's also
boring. Exactly what I don't want! I hate this. Why can I
never be satisfied with the way my life is going?

You know, my family is watching Panic Room and I'm not
watching it because they started it without me. I did want
to watch it but I'm hearing all this stuff, sitting in the
other room and I'm slowly but surely changing my mind about
watching it tomorrow. It's just grossing me out and the
images that are coming to my head from hearing it is making
me almost sick to my stomach. It's like that really really
disturbed feeling you get - not physically but almost
emotionally and for me, being a Christian, spiritually.
It's really upsetting me. =

Well, I'm gonna go. It's late and I need to find something
to do other than sit on here all night spilling my guts to
a computer!

-- Heather --


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