well i haven't written for a while. not really sure what to
say. ironic really, i can sit at home for 3 months doing
nothing and still find something to write three times a
day, but when i actually have something going on in my life
to talk about i am speechless.
perhaps that's the way it should be - perhaps i should
learn and keep my mouth shut...not let any of the words
out, and no food or water in.
i'm struggling, but what more did i expect? uni is hell. i
miss it now i am away, but i can't deny how fucking hard it
i'm sitting in the study. grandad's study.
i've got something i need to say but i don't know if i can
ah well. mouth is staying firmly closed.
i hate life. i want to die. there is only one person in
this world who i am staying alive for. only one person, but
that person means more to me than the whole world put
together could ever possibly mean. this time i really will
say what i mean....thank you...i love you baby.