fionasunshine

time problem and stuff

okay... this site is messed up with the time for the
entries... like my last entry, i wrote that last night but
it says 3 am... hmmm... anyways just checking... i'm going
to put the "REAL" time at the end of this entry to see how
screwed up it is.

What's new with me? Well, i didn't sleep at all last
night. It reminded me of that time that i stayed up all
night to finish my history project... only that time i had
adrenaline going through me because i was worried i
wouldn't finish. I'm not even tired right now... i'm wide
away... it doesnt' feel like it's dawn yet the sky is
getting lighter. I could stay up forever. Maybe i'll take
a nap later today... maybe... umm...

I had a dream, but not really a dream because i wasn't
sleeping, or anything like a dream, but i don't know how to
discribe it other than an "experience" and that sounds too
weird to say it that way. So i'd rather call it a dream.
I don't even want to talk about it, but it was confusing to
me, and i'm not sure which way is up right now, or
something. MAybe i really am tired. And i guess i really
need to take a nap.

I miss Dustin... I love him, and i can't stand that he
isn't here and i may never see him, ever, and i just want
him to be here to hold his arms around me and i want to
fall asleep with him holding me... or i just want to go
back to last summer, sitting on the swings, or by the fire,
or by the "fire", or by the lake... I just want him to be
here with me... hmmmm.... I won't even remind myself that
he isn't here, i'll just pretend that he's just across town
and we will see each other in a short time. He's really
close to me, and he'll be right next to me soon...

I guess I have really stayed up all night... and i have
insomnia... and i'm wathcing "Insomniac Music Theater" (and
channel surfing). whoa... i need to be upstairs sleeping
in my bed... whoa, nelly! hmmmm...

Goodnight... um... morning

~Fiona (caroline j)
5:40 AM