Lost Again

Living Hell/Let me go
Ad 0:
2001-08-02 05:52:18 (UTC)

Letting Go

Not sure where to begin or what to really write on this
considering the whole world can see that wants too. I'm a
28 year old women who lost her daugter 3 months ago to a
man I trusted who killed her. I have not been able to
grieve the way I have been told that I should. Is there
really a way that a person should grieve? Anyhow or anyway
I'm engaged to a man that I Love with all my Heart and Soul
and I'm pregnat with his child. I'm in the first part of my
trimester and I am depressed as hell. So depressed that
thoughts of killing myself are all I can think about these
days. I feel so guilty inside that I was unable to protect
my daughter the way I should have. I feel guilty for
wanting to kill myself cuz I'm so weak to deal with the
pain inside. What kind of a person am I. I have never been
a coward until the last 3 months. I wonder if it will ever
get better? I doubt it. Life is cruel and the people in it
can be so cruel and heartless. It makes me mad when people
tell me that I shouldn't do anything cuz it would hurt
them. Well you know what? What about the pain I feel? Does
that matter for anything. Why the hell should I stick
around for anyone just cuz they are worried about thier own
feelings? I'm tired now.