~dAyDrEaMeR~

Out-of-the-ordinary-stuff!
2001-08-02 05:27:39 (UTC)

He Loves Me, I Love Him Not

Ok, well this is actually about the guy I used to love with
all my heart...his name is Jake. Well, I mean this guy is
perfect in absolutely every way, and at first I couldn't get
enough of him. Of course none of my friends ever liked him,
im not quite sure why, but they just didn't. But anyway,
hes always been the kinda guy that thinks about the future
(something not many guys do) and I know that its good to
look into the future, but I'm the kinda girl who just likes
to live life as it is, and not worry about all that other
stuff. Well from the very start of our relationship I knew
he was a very sensitive and sweet guy, and hes always
talking abuot what we are gonna do when we hit our one year
anniversary and stuff, and how were gonna have all these
kids and stuff, and at first it was fun, but now its
just...too much!!! I mean it's almost our 6 month
anniversary, and hes making all these plans and stuff and
hes been planning for about a months or so already. WEll
I've been planning on dumping him for a month or so, but
then I found out about all these plans he was making. Now I
was always afraid of dumping him cause hes so sensitive and
stuff but then I found about all these plans and stuff, so I
decided to just hang with it for a while, and maybe it would
get better. I thought that maybe I was making a mistake and
stuff cause he seems so sweet and everything. So I've been
holding on to this relationship for about a month even
though I'm not into him anymore. Well lately I've just been
so smothered by him that I've been making excuses to not see
him and stuff. Now he lives about 30 minutes away, and one
day me and my pals were all going down there, but they
didn't want him to come hang out with us, and i definately
didn't want him to, so i didn't tell him about it. We met
up with 3 of his friends, and me and one of them got pretty
serious. Now he of course knew I was going out with Jake,
and I knew he had a girlfriend too, but we didn't really
seem to care or whatever that day. And hes not at all the
kinda guy that im usually into, but I was just having fun or
whatever, but now I feel really guilty, and I know the guy i
was with does too, and now im really not sure wether to dump
Jake or not. Everyone keeps telling me I can't avoid it all
my life, but I really dont wanan crush him cause I know if I
do his friend will spill what we did that one day, and then
he'll be totally heartbroken. And I really dont want to
hurt him, hes just smothering me so much that I can't take
it anymore.