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2002-10-11 00:26:07 (UTC)

i decide to walk the fine line

another day of school and work. this is really taking its
toll...but its not even that which is taking away the
majority of my energy.

i thought a lot recently.
i have been. i havent been talking ive been thinking. and

if i dont write a lot in here..
there is a reason.

three actually.

choices have been made.

when i pee i see "decide on what you think is right, and
stick to it"

call me stubborn. call me fucking stupid. i dont really
care. i refuse to submit again and again and again. there
is only one thing that could change my mind. and until
that point. this is where i will be.

so yes.

its sad. its crazy how dependant i have become on this
stupid thing. crazy.

everyday i write and write and write trying to make up for
what is missing. what there is a lack of...

over seven hundred entries.
not to mention...the real journals i carry everywhere with
or the scraps of paper.

change...its what i hate the most and without it, where
would i be now?

i am going to lunch with emilys mommy tomorrow.

i work on sat.

and i am going to see emily on sunday.

and im done writing in here now.