redstarfish2

No Matter How Hard I Try...
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2002-10-10 21:09:16 (UTC)

*sigh* my last couple days

Here are some lines from my horoscopes to start with:

"Everyone is waiting to see if you're going to fall flat on
your face today"

"You should have. You could have. You would have. Enough
with the wishful thinking. Bag it and do something instead."

"Before you jump, make sure you still have a grip on what's
real to you."

"There must be some way to capture these thoughts. In the
end, they might just come spilling out."
***
Those all pertain the the way things have been lately. They
haven't been all that great to be honest. They get bad and
then better. Yesterday the bottom fell out, but it fixed
itself like always. I wish I could just do what I want to.
It's so hard! I don't know why, it shouldn't be. And to be
honest, I know what would have happened with it a week or
two ago, no I can't be sure. Now I seem to think it
wouldn't turn out well at all. Probably becasue it wont.
But I don't care. I need to do it anyways. Enough waiting
around and contemplating. Now, where to get the nerve? lol.
***
I guess I am taking the PSAT next Tuesday, which is good
because I'll know what to expect when I have to take it
next year and my senior year. I intend to take it both
years to get the highest grade possible because I really
want to go to college. I am such a freak about it.
***
Yesterday was Terry's birthday, he's 18 now.
***
We had scedual changes in school today. Mine didn't change
though. Just the half credit course students. Terry has my
lunch now. Fred went and told Terry I told Fred to tell
Terry (if that didn;t confuse you) that I said "fuck you"
That isn't what happened at all. I was like...no...no I
didn't say that! I didn't. lol. He mis understood me.
*shrugs* At least Terry knows I didn't say that.
***
Any other random news? I don't really think so. Not that
I'm putting in here at least.
***
I'm going to leave you with some song lyrics:

"Losing Grip"
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say I was left to cry there,
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided


Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone

Am I just some chick you place beside you to take
somebody's place
when you turn around can you recognize my face you used to
love me,
you used to hug me
But that wasn't the case
Everything wasn't ok I was left to cry there
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone

Crying out loud I'm crying out loud
Crying out loud I'm crying out loud

Open your eyes
Open up wide
Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there
when I was scared I was so alone Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care were not going newhere
Why should I care cuz you weren't there when I was scared I
was so alone
Why should I care If you don't care then i don't care were
not going newhere

~Avril
***
(hmm...I wonder if those mean anything lately)


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