Sarahbellum

The meanderings of a mind
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2001-08-02 02:56:46 (UTC)

jealousy

When my cousin moved in, I got a new brother. We were
pretty close. I took him with me when I went out with my
friends. I talked to him about things. I fought over
things with him. He was nice, and did most everything I
asked him. We were friends. Now things are different. I
can barely stand to be in the same room with him. Sit next
to him at dinner. He is always in my room when I come home,
on my computer. I normally don't say anything. I'm pretty
generous I think. I get out of the bathtub and come in my
room and he is playing a came. I ask him to leave for five
minutes. He tells me to get dressed in the bathroom. I sit
on my bed in a towel for thirty minutes so he can finish his
game. I think that is pretty nice. I don't have to do
that. This is my room. I didn't mind that he found
friends with my friends, but now I'm on the back burner.
They call for him now. I'm the tag along. I'm a little
jealous. They were MY friends. I'm getting better at
coping. I was hurt and I'm a little upset at how easily I
can be pushed aside. Now, I have a wonderful boyfriend. I
don't get to see him as much as I like. My friends just
recently got to meet him, and my cousin has been telling
them stories about him. After saying "hey" he apparently
hates him now. He treats me like shit and every
conversation ends in elevated angry voices. When I'm
pissesd he says I'm whining. He is constantly rude and
self-centered. I believe he reads my countless journals
because he said I had mood swings like a pregnant lady.
That is one of my fears. Like somehow I'll imaculately(sp)
concieve, the same thing wynona ryder thought in the movie
MERMAIDS. It is a silly little girl's fear. I think it is
ok to be a silly little girl sometimes. Why is it so hard
for him to understand that being pissed at him, isn't a
moodswing? I'm fine with everyone else.
My mom thinks he is jealous that I found someone and I have
a relationship and He can't find anyone and is stuck
downloading skanky, naked hoes on my computer which I spend
numerous hours deleting. If I had a dick I would take great
pleasure in telling him to suck it. How is that for a
moodswing?


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