Pandora

tonight tonight

Aug 1/01

I dont really have anything to say, but since I'm here I may
as well write something. Im so tired. I think my veganism
may be taking its tole on me. Its been about 2 weeks since
I've had anything derived from animals. I havnt really been
supplimenting vitamins either. Not good... I feel like I
have no energy, I can barely keep my eyes open. Guess what I
had to eat today. I feel like a damn annorexic! I had a
bagel with penut butter, a pickle and a few crackers. Oh, nd
2 glasses of water. Yummy.

Im very anxious about the TO trip. All the hotel
accomidations. I get myself into such messes. I bet the
Royal York room is going to be like $300.. So I will have to
cancel it and Betty would have gone to all that trouble to
get it for me for nothing. I feel bad, but what can I do?
Hey, I dont even know that it will be that expensive. Im
just being paranoid. But seriously, nothing is ever easy for
me. Everything always gets messed up somehow!

Josh was next door today.. What is my damn problem? I kept
looking out the window. Basically spying on him. I dont
like him, perhaps my life is just boring. Yes, that must be
it. However, it is odd that I dont look at the other
neighbours. I dont know if Im being honest or not.??

Ive been trying to a story for ages.. but I have no
inspiration... I love writing, but Im not good at it anymore.
I cant think of any good plot ideas or something...

Frig!! I wont even get into how I feel about Mom... annoying
as hell. She has selective hearing, constant PMS, is a
hypocrite... that doesnt even begin got scratch the surface!
But I dont know how to put all of my feelings about her into
words. She just makes me want to scream!!! ALl these
feelings clouding up my mind... arg.

Im so frustrated. Im deeply saddened. Im tired. goodnight.

~Panda