chaoticxpression

my simple small world
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2002-10-09 20:07:11 (UTC)

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The phase of my life I have entered, is the worst
depressive phase I've ever been through...
It's just everything at once all coming forth and stepping
on me.
Normally when I'm bummed, it'll last for like a day or two
then I'm fine, but this has been going on coming onto a
week, and it worsens everyday..
What is it exactly? Everything....from the oppression in my
household, to being alone.I woke up the other morning
realizing that I seriously do have no one....and that I can
only blame myself since I'm not antisocial...
There are just a million little things, stabbing me from
the inside...I don't understand all of them, but there
slowly killing me.
There is no relief, there is no hope...it's all been gone,
and honestly, there is nothing much left to my life.
See, the thing about me and depression is, I don't send out
crys for help....I might talk to a select few about things,
but I never cry out...
I will smile in the halfways like always (or at least try),
the only difference in how I am around people is, I'm alot
more bitter, but I can't help that.Why hide depression?
That's obvious...I don't want attention, I don't want
people that know basically nothing about me or my life
telling me "it's gonna be ok", when they have no clue.
Plus, people have their own lives and their own problems,
they don't need to get all caught up in mind.And finally- I
don't want sympathy...
I don't know why I choose to act "ok" around ppl...
I don't know...yeah, well, I'm going....


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