dyingangel

feardeath
2002-10-09 03:00:32 (UTC)

10.08.02 - tuesday night

yeah, i'm finally back. i miss yang lan alot.... hes in
south carolina now, before he was in georgia for training.
well, he'll be back in november, so i'm just waiting for
him to come back. i miss him alot... at least we're
writing, which is a good thing, cause that's what helps me
endure the long hours of school i have to attend. waiting
patiently is one of the hardest things for me to do, but i
think i'm doing alright with it. besides, i'm not dead from
boredom yet. yang has a little over a month until he
returns to the city, maybe i can go out with him during
saturday or sunday afternoons... thanksgiving may be open
too.... oh, and i want to get him a gift for his birthday
on the fourth of january. but i still don't know what to
get him. i want it to be something special and unique. i
really want him to be with me. i don't know if he feels the
same way about me though. i'd like him to, but i can't
force him and i don't want to force him. i don't know if i
really like him or not, it's really confusing. but then
again, when we went to play pool in july, i felt like this
was right and i want to be with him always. i guess i just
haven't spent any time at all with him, which is why i'm
not sure anymore. a part of me still likes him, maybe even
loves him. i hope God will help me understand my own
feelings toward yang. i'm going to go to sleep now, i'll
type again later. ~jin yu (goldfish-his nickname for me)




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