starrynite1226

The Story of Me
2001-08-01 14:56:28 (UTC)

A little research people...

First off, how many people have really done their research
on the topic of depression? I bet that a lot of you
haven't. So until then, please keep you comments to
yourself. Yes, clinical depression is characterized
by "down" periods lasting six weeks or more. But it's what
happens to your brain that makes people feel the way that
they do. There is a chemical imbalance that happens, and
the medication that people are put on is supposed to help
you regain that balance. No, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Zoloft,
Paxil, or any of the other anti-depressants that are out
there aren't "happy pills" they just help you think a bit
more rationally, to make sence of your feelings. And if
left untreated, clinical depression can turn into a more
aggressive disorder knows as bi-polar, or manic. Not a good
thing.

So I've done a lot of talking to people. I understand that
there isn't anything wrong with me. 1 out of every 3 people
suffer from depression, it just isn't talked about openly
because it's not accepted. It's completely normal that I
can't make heads or tails of my emotions. And I don't feel
sorry for myself. Not at all. Nor do I expect anyone else
to. And it's hard to talk about what you are feeling when
you don't even know yourself. Not everyone understands
that. Luckily for me, Kristy does. When I say "I don't
know..." she knows exactly what I mean, because she's been
there herself. But anyone that hasn't been down that
path...they don't know. And Kristy is the only one that I
can't pretend around.

So am I so wrong for admitting that I can't handle
everything by myself? Is that such a bad thing to do? I'm
not admitting I am weak. If I were weak, then I wouldn't
have said anything to anyone. I don't like the down periods
that I get, I just want them to go away. I hate trying to
rationalize feelings that I can't explain. And if
medication will help that...then good. I'm all for it. I
just wish that more people were accepting of that fact.

Well, that's all for now. Now it's time for a chat with my
mom to make a doctors appointment. Maybe she will listen
this time...hopefully.