Jaded

Why Me?
2001-08-01 04:23:13 (UTC)

My so-called thoughts...

Diary,

*Sigh*! What is wrong with me? With EVERYONE? Why is
living so hard? Why is it that I have to live now - in
modern times - when my personality is so suited to another
time and world? (Which world, you ask? I do not know...)
Why are people so closed-minded and shallow? How can a
person achieve joy from brushing their hair, for example,
when that time could be spent writing or drawing, if you
will? Oh, Diary, I realize that I'm not the person to doll
out judgement. Who am I to say what's right and wrong?
Still, this IS a diary, and it being such, I am entitled to
be as self-righteous as I please. I don't suppose that this
entry will be very structured or focused, so Readers (should
there be any) prepare yourselves. I feel like ranting and
raving. When do I NOT feel like ranting and raving? People
are so dumb! Society is so calloused against the fine arts
and important things! (Or so I believe). I think we need
to have a new rebirth - a renassance (sorry, I'm having
trouble spelling today, Diary) to awaken our talents! Being
an avid reader of both modern and classical literature, I
have compared the two. Classical literature - excluding
morons and dolts such as that goddamned asshole Charles
Dickens and others like him - is so much more interesting.
The plots are fundamentally the same and if asked, I could
not actually define what makes the two so different.
However, given the choice of reading "Of Mice and Men" (by
John Steinbeck, 1947) over, say, "It" (Stephen King, 1985) I
would choose "Of Mice and Men". Yes, "It" was and awesome
book and good ol' Stephen King is a literary genius, but
there is again that undefinable difference. Thus said, I
have come to believe that it is this callousness against all
the "old ways" (as I will refer to them) that has drawn a
line between the classics and the moderns. Luckily, a few
authors have achieve somehow a balance inbetween that works
magically. There are books written somewhat recently that
contain that thing which makes classics classics, while
blending it with a more modern scene and such, so that all
may relate. Good God a'mighty, Diary. What the hell am I
doing talking about books? I wanted to rant and rave about
society. Yeah, I'm focused. Anyway, BACK to society. It
bites, really. Honestly, this world is so fake! At least,
America is. We're all superficial (damn! I so CAN NOT
SPELL TODAY! or maybe that is the right spelling..) slobs,
when one comes down to the bare, ugly facts. People are
going to be their own demise. Perhaps it will be our love of
technology. I believe that technology will advance to a
point that renders humans useless. And why not? We have
machines that can thing, machines that can dig, machines
that all but operate themselves! With a little more, they
COULD operate themselves! More efficient, they would say.
Ha! At any rate, Diary, you get the idea? The things that
ancient civilizations have achieved are amazing, and I don't
think that I need to go into those. And, another thing
while I'm at it, Diary: How can skeptics be so adamant in
their denial of things supernatural? In the denial of life
in space? Surely, they aren't so dense as to think that
their own self-imposed laws of physics govern everything?
Surely, they can NOT believe that in other spheres and
dimensions, others rules do not apply? How ridiculous and
simple minded! And aliens! Think about it, folks! This is
ONE planet in ONE galaxy in an ENTIRE universe! We haven't
even explored the farthest depths of our own galaxy, and yet
scientists proclaim that the only life resides on Earth!
How can that be?!!?!?!?!?! There are an infinite number of
galaxies out there - in the unfathomable pits of space!
Millions of planets and stars, all teeming with life - or
possible life! Surely if our own planet exists, there are
more like it! Earth is can not POSSIBLY be the ONLY planet
out of trillions to have the right conditions for life!
There are suns that we can only dream of, with planets
unknown to us rotating about them. How can it not be that
one of those planets - maybe even the third one closest to
the sun - doesn't support life?! That is ridiculous and
almost childish in itself! And coupled with all the little
scatterings of evidence we've found? Area 51, for Christ's
sake! Don't be stupid! Also, something else that bothers
me and if you are reading this and can even come up with a
fathomable/plausible answer, PLEASE tell me: WHERE DID GOD
COME FROM? God - yes, there is one I think, but it is not
neccessarily the only God or the precise God depicted in the
Bible - did not just pop up out of nothing! Because,
rationally, one has to know that there has been SOMETHING
there for them to understand the concept of nothing. Do you
see where my problem lies? Okay, say that in space there
was a black hole which somehow threw up God. Alright -
where did space and the black hole come from? A particle of
gas? Where in the hell did the gas come from? WHERE DID
ANYTHING COME FROM?!!?!?!?! Also, I would like to know
-though not as urgently as where God came from - how do the
presence of dinosaurs and Adam and Eve work on a timeline?
Which came first? We have documented PROOF of dinosaurs and
their most-likely age, but what of Adam and Eve? All we
have is a book. Now, if you try and think - perhaps
evolution DID happen. The first lil bit of life..blah blah
blah...up to apes and people. BUT if you think about the
Bible - i don't know if i do or not and this is one of my
reasons along with where did God come from - adam and eve
were simply there...all alone in a lush garden...WHAT ABOUT
THE DAMNED OTHER THINGS THAT HAVE LIVED THROUGHOUT THE PAST?
History and science DO NOT coincide with religion! What's
real and what isn't? We are being taught lies and yet no
one has ever really thought about WHY and HOW and WHEN - or
asked them aloud. So, please, these things eat at my sanity
daily and I would actually say contribute to most of my
dismal feelings. If you have any thoughts - tell me.
Anyway, I had planned on speaking of some of my theories -
but that went to hell. Maybe one day when I'm not stressed.
Ha! Good luck, Erin. So, I love you all and will be
seeing you soon...