sweetiepiefuckface

Getting My Grub On
2002-10-07 15:54:05 (UTC)

Sympathy Pains

Some days I feel like a nut, some days I don't. Not only being the
jingle for my favorite candybar, but a smart little pearl of wiadom.
Today I think I feel like a nut.

My best friend is knocked up and inbetween being excited for her, I
am jealous. Not of the morning sickness or other physical ailments
that go along with having a bun in the oven, but with the thought
that she gets to carry around a little person inside of her for nine
months.... then he/she is born and no one in the world will get to
love it more than its mother.

I want a child so bad I can taste it. Well, you know what I mean. I
know I am on hard times, so of course NOW wouldn't be ideal, but
if I was pregnant right now, I wouldn't kick it out of bed for eating
crackers. I would love to have my nelly swollen up like a beach
ball with my little one squirming and kicking around inside.

Well, I know I will have a child one day... I just have to be patient. I
think I will make a good mother.

School is plugging along as usual. I work my ass off for little
outcome, and sometimes I question if it is really worth it. It must be,
because I still get my ass out of bed each morning.

I am going to go insane if I don't change my ways, or if something
doesn't change around me. It is great that I HAVE THE PERFECT
LITTLE APARTMENT AND THE PERFECT LITTLE grades. It is
great that I can lift my head up and smile at people occasiionally. It
is great that I am not sitting in some mental institution like I have in
the past. It is all great, just great.

See, obviously I am not ready for a child.

I love myself and all that I surround myself with. I love myself and
all that I surround myself with. I love myself and all that I surround
myself with.




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