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2001-07-31 21:00:38 (UTC)

Friendship..What's that?

A long time ago, I had a some respects she was
my best friend. Excuse the movie quotation, but "We were
like peas and carrots." I probably would be the peas and
she would be the carrots. Well, I had this protective
outside that sheltered me from the bad (which would be my
family). She, th carrot, had built a hard, thick
outerlayer blocking out her family and trying to escape the
life she knows. I bring this up now because I recently
heard that she is going to the movies with my brother and
his friend. We grew apart. I don't think I've changed
much..yeah maybe I have. I'm more dramatic...I have a
flare for harping on things and making them into things
that are bigger than they should be..but you know what I am
all about my principles. She changed. She lost...or maybe
never understood how words hurt. She would say the meanest
things to jokes. I would get an A while she got a B
and she would laugh while calling me a bitch. She did
change he appearance, tastes, and other things...but that
doesn't matter it matters how nice you are...she was not
being nice. Someone once called me on my opinions about
her saying that at that moment maybe her jealousy really
made her think I was a Bitch...But she is a human
being...she should know better than to not control her
words and say things she will regret. I don't know. We
aren't friends fact it takes all of me to be
civil to her now because she has just hurt me so much. She
takes pieces of me. I talk to her and she makes me feel
less. If you don't know be by now you will see that people
mold me. No matter what. I don't know why; I just do. I
try to surround myself with people I like and who I think
would make me when someone hurtful is near me I
become hurtful. I hate it and really want to kill myself
when I act like this.

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