Black Phoenix
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2002-10-06 21:44:17 (UTC)

Stranded in the Crowd

The system depresses me so much. I want to live as far away
from people as I can, but the way I've been raised wouldn't
allow me to. I'd want to live far away in a shack, with a
kitchenette and a bed. But I'd have to buy those things.
I'd have to get money, I'd have to work, I'd have to reach
my dream through the system. I suppose I could make them...

Oh so depressed... why do I waste my time with stupid
things? Why did I waste an hour of my day writing down the
answers to problems that have no application to my life?

See, I learn to be able to function in society. I learn
what it takes to be a drone. I learn everything that the
captors of my fate need me to so that I can make them
happy, then be thrown away. But I don't want to function in
society. Society makes me sick. Society is nothing but a
body of people that I can hate. Do I want to hate? Yes,
while I'm around people that deserve it, I do. But it would
be nice to leave the horrors of my life and be alone. Alone
like I always am, but without the option of being ignored
by the manifistation of the qualities that I want to
destroy so much.

So depressed...

And so the scars accumulate.