Kat Eyes
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2002-10-06 20:52:57 (UTC)

october 2, 2002 (later on...)

i can't believe it! we broke up! omg! WE BROKE UP! this is
like....history. i can't believe it. well...in a way i can.
heres the conversation:

muffinman2180: i think u should remind me
muffinman2180: yes i'm sure
chubblz05: lol
chubblz05: well theres not much i can do about that all the
way over here
chubblz05: i think you should fall in love with someone else
muffinman2180: maybe u can
chubblz05: i think you should fall in love with someone else
muffinman2180: i'll sry
muffinman2180: try
chubblz05: you're BSing me
chubblz05: i'm serious
muffinman2180: tell me y
chubblz05: because im not moving back
muffinman2180: how come
chubblz05: because my dads a big ol queer
muffinman2180: please say ur lieing
chubblz05: i wish i was
chubblz05: im sry
muffinman2180: so am i
chubblz05: im sry
chubblz05: i didnt want to tell you when you fele so bad
but it didnt feel right keeping something from you
muffinman2180: well thank u for telling me
chubblz05: why are you saying thanks? its notgood news
muffinman2180: no for not keping it from me
chubblz05: k
muffinman2180: keeping
chubblz05: im gonna aim for fsu for college though
chubblz05: so we can make this work
chubblz05: but it may take awhile
chubblz05: but if youd rather not try iunderstand
muffinman2180: lets pick it up wen u come back
chubblz05: we're breaking up arent we
muffinman2180: but how will know it's u u'll be all growen
chubblz05: we're breaking up arent we
muffinman2180: something like that
chubblz05: ok
SOMETHING LIKE THAT? BULLSHIT! thats guy slang for "yes.
and knowing nick's past, i know it's because he wants to be
able to flirt with other girls when i'm not there so
satisfy his hormone needs. well...hes in for a surprise if
dad and i move back, because i won't give him a second
chance unless he can prove he truely loves me. and i
thought we were really in love! like marriage, kids, white
picket fence, the whole nine-yards. well, i guess i don't
feel guilty about going to homecoming with bryan anymore.
and its kind of a relief, knowing that any accidental
flirtatious move won't send me on an all expense-paid guilt
trip. but i just can't believe its over. i don't think i'll
cry though. i mean, i feel like doing it. but for some
reason i'm not. i don't think dad and will be moving back,
but if we do it'll be funny. we probably will now that i
think about it. because everytime i tell someone something,
the opposite happens. so if i told nick that we're not
moving back, we probably will. funny how that happens
sometimes. i still would like to move back though. i mean,
my main reason was to be with nick, but i've realized that
a guy doesn't make me who i am. i mean, i love(d) nic and i
still do. and i will always have a spot for him in my
heart, but i think right now i'm not hurting so bad because
i never see him. i mean as opposed to living in florida and
seeing him everyday. but if we were living in florida none
of this would be happening and everything would be good and
we'd still be together. stupid dad and melissa. its not
entirely their fault. but mostly. if they had never met
then my life wouldn't be as complicated as it is. well, its
my fault as much as it is theirs.well, its over. we'll see
what happens next. his pictures are still going up in my
locker...yea, i know i'm pathetic. so shoot me.