Work Loser
2001-07-31 17:59:43 (UTC)

Young guy in an old guy life

Jesus, I'm scared to write in this thing after reading all
the other diaries. Not to say that I'm not a loser as well,
but sheesh - I don't have that many problems.
So today, both Kathy and Tom are out of the office, giving
me time to do absolutely nothing. You would think being in
a field where your eyes are constantly stimulated you would
enjoy creating new things. But how stimulating can car ads
be? I think that I've completly lost all of my residual
teenager angst. I should be doing something other than this
shit.... but what the hell else is there to do when your
life is as calm as mine. I don have nah worries. Maybe
that is impossible to say for anyone, but I've learned how
to side-step bullshit. I guess that is why I haven't
written in my real journal for months. There aren't any
petty izm problems that I've let tug at my conscience... ok
maybe there are things that get to me. Sitting here in this
office, I know I don't want to be doing this shit forever.
I've gotten out - but I think I need to see everything that
the globe has before I get comfortable with my character.
So today, I was just thinking of how an old man lifestyle I
have. I used to be doing pratically nuttin all during the
summer. Sleeping over at Nop's and waking up at 2pm. I had
a job, but it allowed me to do nothing. God, all we did was
get high and laugh about how fucking chill everything was
going. Now I'm in a place that I've been in for 2 years and
I haven't got fired yet. I have health insurance and a
retirement plan. Fuck. I should own the world by now. I'm
supposed to be married and have kids by now. What happened
to the time? Oh well, these thoughts won't last too long.
I can feel myself growing out of the kid shell and seeing
how ridiculous the things I've done are. Enough reflecting
today - I have to do actual work