brought to you with little certainty
i've decided to copy c-...
will he pretend today that nothing happened last night? that
he did not sleep on the floor? i suppose i will just behave
as though nothing has changed, as usual...
why is it taking c- so long to shower and call? i'm
starving. too bad i've only got something like eleven bucks
and dinner will either have to be begged or lowlowlow
this damned headache is already more than four hours old--i
really need to quit drinking, but i'd much rather create my
own terms than play these games with him...why would it
matter to him? if he isn't bitching about my drinking, he's
bitching about my eating habits; or that i'm not hungry when
he is; or that i've already eaten without him; or that i'm
not ready to leave the house; or that i have no money to feed
him; or that i forgot to let the dog in, or out, or feed the
cat, or strip the paint, or not bite my nails, or stay off
his computer, or water the plants, or not pick at my face, or
not slurp, or not eat pineapple, or not listen to sleater-
kinney, or pick up enough shifts at work, or be mean to
people he hates, or be nice to j-....
ok...that's enough for today...maybe tomorrow i'll feel
somewhat better about this...