Not-So-Shinging Star

2002-10-06 20:05:05 (UTC)

Afraid to love

This weekend was homecoming, it wasnt my homecoming that i
went to, it was Lakelands highschool, where all my friends
go. I got to Mercy Highschool, a private, all-girls school
where i did not want to go but i had to. Well anyways,
Friday was the football game, i went with my friends, and i
met this Senior (by the way, i'm a freshman) and i like him
soooo much, his name is matt, he really hot and he has a
personality that sets mine off. He took me and my friend
Ashley to Burger King and his house. He played us a couple
songs on his guitar and he looked soo good, he has a great in love. BUt i dont want to be, im afraid of
On saturday all i thought about was him, i saw him at
homecoming, and he looked so cute. I later that night I
found out that he liked my friend Ashley. I dont know what
to do, everytime i like someone i always get hurt by
finding out they like someone else, i feel like ishould
jsut give up on guys. But i tried to forget about it, and
i danced with a lot of my good friends from Middle School,
and it was a lot of fun.
My life isnt going to well these days, my parents, who i
always thought had a beautiful marriage are divorcing, that
struck me pretty hard, Ive started to accept it, but
sometimes i cry about it becuse i used to think "wow, i
have a wonderufl life, my parents are so happy ogether and
i dont think they will ever serperate." I also have a
rpoblem with my dad, hes a gambler, and he seems to never
leave the Casino, which really bothers me because he is
always getting in fights with my mom about how he cant
afford t pay the mortages on our house and all this other
stuff. I will never gamble because i see its affect on my
dad. i hate it...
well anyways...i also like this kid nick, but with him, hes
a flirt with every girl. BUt theres something about him
that i love, but thers so many other things that i dont
like. i dont know, i never get what i want outta guys, i
guess im not pretty or dont have ht slutty personality like
all the other girls...i dont know, but whatever it is,
makes me get hurt, everytime...
not-so-shining star