kaekay

Ugh!

Okay...Garry is being a real butt...and so is my mom. I
can't go anywhere unless Garry is with me. I guess she
doesn't trust me or something. And Garry never wants to go
anywhere. So guess who's screwed. Yep...me. I haven't seen
Josh in lord knows how long. I'm going to have to break up
with him because I never get to see him.

Why do people always want to try to complicate their lives.
I don't try...and it just happens. I just want a simple
life. Simple....right. Germaine and Raleigh are brothers.
Germaine told me last night that Raleigh likes me. Well, me
and Raleigh are like goood friends. We flirt
alot....ALOT...but I never thought he actually liked me.
Now, knowing the bunch we hang out with, I was wondering if
what he meant by when he said Raleigh liked me is that
Raleigh wanted to fuck me. That's how they all talk. But
Germaine was like..."no, he likes you like he want to go out
with you. But don't tell nobody cause I won't supposed to
tell." Lord. I told Germaine to tell him that if he likes me
he needs to get enough balls to tell me. I would love to go
out with Raleigh. But it's just fun being friends and
hanging out and shit. I mean, there would be family issues
if I went out with him because 1, he's black and being the
racist people that my parents are i don't think that'll
slide with them. 2, he hangs out with the crowd my mom don't
want me hanging out with, so she wouldn't approve of him
even if he was white. And I've already told Crystel and
everybody that I wasn't going to date anybody in our group.
I would be going back on my word. I don't know what I'm
going to do. Okay...I love Raleigh to death. I really do.
Like I've said, him and Perry would do anything for
me....and vice versa. If I go out with him I would be
happy...but how long would it last. I wouldn't be able to
flirt with Danny and Perry and them anymore. I think
considering the ratio of the downsides to upsides....the
answer if he ever asked me would have to be no.

I need a ciggarette. Okay. I really do. If anybody is
reading this and they have a ciggarette mail it to me or do
something. I am serious. Ya'll think I'm playin. my email
addy is [email protected]. you gotta pack of ciggarettes
you email me and i'll give you my address and you can mail
it to me. I have not had one in so long. Garry calls me a
nicotine addict. he used to smoke so I don't know what the
big deal is. In fact, now he smokes weed. I only do that
once or twice a year. On new year's eve and whenever the
occasion calls for it. But anyways....

Jill's calling Garry today to tell him where she'll be at
one time (she's visiting some friends close to here) and
he's getting josh...MY boyfriend...to drive him to her so he
can hang out with her all day and I get to stay home and
watch Hope, which isn't unusual but still. He owes me, and
he knows it. Usually when we go down to Texaco and the court
he always wants to stay at the court and he won't ever let
me go anywhere else with my friends. He'll see how much
walkin he's gonna do now. He owes me big. But I guess i
better go wash the dishes. If it won't for me, this place
would look like pigs lived here. I'm the only one who ever
does anything around here.