cosmic ski slopes
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2001-07-31 06:43:00 (UTC)

letter #1

Dear Brian,
I remember when u used to write me things starting with 'my
dearest tina' and i believed every word of it. i was ur
dearest. i was the most important thing in the world to
u... thought i was atleast- u were in mine. I remember when
we would say that we'd be friend forever simply b/c we
couldn't survive without eachother, didn't wanna try- thi
susmmer has prooved things differently.
I have my senior pictures tomorrow, and all i can think
abotu are the pics i had taped to my bedstand in fifth and
sixth grade. ur school picute, mine, scotts, and justins. i
would fall asleep every night watchign those pictures,
imagining what would happen next to all of us. I never
imagined any thing that's really happened, i don't think
anyone could hae this extravagant an imagination, but it
would put me to sleep anyway.
I sit here now and my shoulders hurt fomr being at the
computer too long and i remember when u'd come into my
house and without me even knowing it, would come into my
room and then u'd be behind me, giving me a neck rub and
then u'd tellm eu loved me and it didn't matter than u had
a gf because u were there with me... that's all that
Well it was all bullshit, everything about our friendship
and our relationships, whatever u can call those, was
bullshit. and now they're startign again, the 'i still love
you's and the 'no matter what's and the 'always's... i
don't want o deal with those anymore and think it's A VERY
GOOD THING that we've survived this summer without
eachother. I miss u, I admit it, I care abotu u, I admit
it, and it killed me to not see u on my birhtday, of all
days brian!!! why THAT day to not be able to get intouch
with me AT ALL??? I don't think i was ever so angry with u
as then... sittin gwith my FOUR friends that bothered to
show up and just wanting u to call, to email, anythign...
but onthing. as always. what i always get back from you: