Mind of a Wierdo
Well Today was ....... well today hahaha. Today being
Monday July 30, 2001. Wow interesting. Okay so it wasn't.
Lets see ......... I woke up .... cleaned house ........
went to the mall. I picked up a cd at media play and tried
on this white dress at Hot Topic. I liked so I have to go
back and get it soon. Hehe. Came home had dinner watched a
movie and here I am. Sniffles. I miss Chris. He is away
still. Well I dont miss him soo much that I am goin to lose
my brain and start breaking everything and acting like the
world is goin to end. I just miss Chris. The late night
call that disturbs my dad while he is sleeping. Hehehe.
Ain't I a stinka! O well. It doesnt really disturb him ...
hell he dont care. But I miss talkin to him. And I kno that
lately our chats have been somewhat bad. But I just want to
hear his voice. I mean I can picture his smile but I dont
have one that he actually looked at the camera. It is a
mental one. He doesn't like to take pictures. And I want to
take pictures with him. But I guess I am kind of afraid to
ask cus I kno deep down he doesnt really want to and he
would just be doin it for me. That is sweet and all but if
he doesnt want to then he doesnt want to. I dont want him
to bend over backwards for me. I guess that is how I am all
the time. Like when I am asked to pick something to do. I
can't do it because I want to be sure that it isn't something
that only I will enjoy and everyone else is doing it just
to make me happy. And let me enjoy myself. Half the time if
I am told to pick I could sit in silence for a whole day
and to everyone else there is no fun in that. ..........
How the hell did I get into this? I lost myself. O well ...
I guess the bottom line is ......... I want him to come
home ................................................... :o/