guy fawkes

my life
2002-10-05 01:33:28 (UTC)

new thinking

What I'm going through right now is an openmindedness
sort of a different way of thinking. I think now would be
a good time to take up philosophy. Before, I thought that
I had a certainly about the world, about life but now I
realize not really.
Previously if someone told me 'What if this were so...'
I wouldn't really go all the way. I would be 'uhuh', 'uhuh' but
really I wasn't commited to it.I was really thinking 'But it isn't
so and that will never happen'... But how do I know?
I just remembered 'If you can't change your mind are you sure you
have one'

What I'm reading has been affecting
me...which is the prose of Beckett. I read a couple of his about 2
years ago but NOW I have a better appreciation of it. Maybe now I
see it in more the way the author meant to convey it?

A story about an old bum...all he had was what he was
wearing and he would beg for $$ and he would buy milk.
Then met a man who lived in a cave by the sea but that
didnt suit him then he found an overturned boat in a
barn. He fixed it up, made a lid for it and he stayed there.
It's about the bare essentials about existing,
surviving...'life goes on'..but he is not to be pitied or
scored...necessarily. That is just how his life is and he
is surviving based on his need/biological impulses...food
clothing shelter.
In some ways, my best friend extremely annoys me.
He thinks anyone who doesn't have an Imac is to be pitied.
For God's sake when you think that way then you can't look at
someone's intelligence/adaptability in working with an obstacle/
disability, or in what they do to get their needs met. You just pity
them for being less fortunate that you are which is stupid. Their
disability may be in their circumstances but yours is in your
F*CKING HEAD. How I yearn to say those words :o.

Lately, this idea is so appealing to me(surviving based on need,
using what you find in environment and working w/ it).
Especially because I also heard about this woman who
survived for 12 days in the woods all she had were a
couple of tart candy and no water.
When I think about how many luxurious things in life can be and
most of it is unnecessarily for survival.
The story of the bum it was so comforting to me! It could be
because although I haven't been homeless I know what it's like to be
VERY POOR and live without comfort and then adjust to it. It made me
appreciate the adaptability of a human being or really animal for
that matter.
Reality shows don't count because they are manmade...what would be
amusing is if something went terribly wrong in one of those shows
and someone died or went into a coma and if we were to see that
unedited...:-x

Anyway, I don't know if I can express myself well verbally but I was
trying to explain this concept to another person earlier. I dont
think I am particularly articulate when I am explaining it..the
words I'm looking for at the tips of my tongue but ARGH!! I might be
better at writing it OUT.




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