What if this is as good as it gets?
Well it's the start of a new week..... I'm between the
devil and the deep. As well as my song writing career, I
also have obligations in a family business. I have the
resources to just pack up and go, but I have this terrible
guilt feeling about leaving the family firm.
I cant talk about that anyway...makes me depressed. I have
been offered a very nice deal indeed (musically). I wont
say figures, but its almost retirement stuff. I could take
it today and I reckon I'd say to Lisa...lets just go...for
good....but the downside is, it'll cost me another lot of
money. It's complicated, but I am owed from royalties. If I
let a music publisher collect those on my behalf, they will
give me a lump sum now (an advance). Or I can wait about
two years and collect it myself.....this seems the best
idea, I'll save a fortune...but money?? What does it
matter. Two years can never be replaced, the money can. I
might generate 10 times more in two years, then this
initial cost wont mean a thing.
I don't know...I just need me and Lisa to up sticks and go.
I've also got a new deal been offered, but I'm in way over
my head....I have friends who can help, but....
I've just updated the site and feel glad that's out of my
hair for a while. Its always a real task to do it. At first
it was great, but now...it's getting tedious. There's so
much more interesting stuff happening.
My mate Ron came round yesterday...great laugh we
had...he's the only person in the world who can really make
me genuinely laugh. Lisa makes me laugh sometimes, but
women and men have a different sense of humour. Plus, me
and Ron go back years and years....there's a lot of small
anecdotes that only we understand.
I'm stuck here aint I? I cannot believe that I can stay
afloat in one of the most difficult industries, and yet I
can't manage a simple family problem. It's driving me nuts!
I haven't written for ages...the business has completely
dominated my entire year so far....that aint good, because
I need product.
Mind you, I have got a lot of confidence in the new album.
I heard one of the remixes that has been done to one of my
songs, and it's bloody brilliant.
And this guys a complete unknown!
The bikes finally working now...£360 it bloody cost... ot
would have been cheaper to get a new one....almost!
I'm getting a bit peeved with people around me just like
robots.....they seem to walk into a room and switch on the
telly! Then they sit there like zombies watching this inane
drivel for HOURS!
I was quite surprised to see a programme on BBC1 about
Space recently. This interests me a lot, but announced by
an actor? Sam Neill... and computer generated...? Whilst
very nice, the script keeps saying with authority that this
is how it all was, and backed up by these wonderful(?)
graphics, looks even more plausible...but the fact
remins....it's theory...not fact. So, consequently, I don'
want o be told that "This is how it all started". I'm sure
Sam Neills ther to appeal to the Joe Public viewer
otherwise put off by a more authorative narrator such as
So, I conclude, telly is a prison for the masses.
Governments know that whilst 18 million people are indoors
watching Coronation Street, they aren't out on the streets
plotting the next riots. Say no to telly!
Every now and then there's an interesting series...such as
The Sopranos....getting into that....but again...take it as
it is...just a light entertainment to unmash the brain
after a day of parking tickets, blocked drains and "if you
are looking for car insurance...press 1" telephone
Music...now I suppose someone would say that's the same as
telly, but the diversity is so, so much better. My
favourite at the moment is Cesar Franck "Panus
Angelicus"...a wonderful piece that keeps me sane in this
myre of trivia and twaddle.
Ho hum.... My dream is me and Lisa, on our own... seeing
the wide wide world. And the irony is, there's nothing
stopping us....except bloody PEOPLE!