cloudcadet

My Life
2001-07-30 13:29:05 (UTC)

hellish week

Hey. Today is July 30th. Finally my week of hell has ended.
Last week sucked ass! I am so happy that it is over. I just
started on a back track and stayed in a rut, and now it is
over and I can start all over again with a brand new day, a
brand new week, and a brand new attitude. Yeah!
So what was so bad about last week? Well, I don't know
really. Now that I look back and try to remember I can't
really think about anything. All I know is that every little
thing just kept seeming to go wrong.
Pretty much there was just this guy that I was stressing
was the biggest deal. Like, I just couldn't keep him off of
my mind, so I like could hardly do anything or get anything
done cause my mind was always distracted with thoughts of
him.
But I am cool now. I got over it. Well, not really, I
still really like him, but I'm cool. I wish I could just say
something to him, but he has a girl n shit, so he's like off
limits to me. Besides, he flirts allot with all kinds of
girls, and I'm not really down with that. I don't know if I
could deal with that or not, I'd get like jealous n shit.
Maybe I could, he's just so wonderful that I would try to
deal with it, and as long as I knew that I was what he
really wanted then it would be cool. It dosen't matter
anyway, so whatever.
I thought he liked me and shit, but it turns out that he
likes me no more than the next hot little chick, so that
helps me keep him off my mind. Fuck that. I am so diffrent
from the rest of those little girls. And suck dick to anyone
who can't see that. giggle giggle haha flirt flirt bitch
whine moan groan giggle giggle uck throw up. I think I may
of scarred him away, I don't even think he wants to be my
friend anymore. That kinda sucks, but alls well, I have that
effect on people, and thank god for that.
I have a new favorite line...it goes like this ; (this is
what I say to people who think they like me cause I am hot)
"you wanna know what I do with dick? I bite the fucker till
it bleeds, and then I chew it up and spit it in your mouth.
I'll pull a Larena Bobit (or whoever) but when you wake up
your dick won't be in the grass it'll be up your ass. How do
you like me now, PUNK?!?"
I hate dick. I really really hate dick. Dick only wants
one thing...pussy. Pussy dosen't care about dick, pussy just
wants to get off. UGH FUCK YOUR LITTLE DICK! I hope you
choke on your little dick! Why can't guys just think with
their real heads, like their brains and shit? How can they
be happy and satisifed with meangingless bullshit
relationships? Why can't they be happy with what they have
instead of always looking for something younger hotter
better? Fuck dick. I love pussy. Fuck bi. I want to be gay.
I just wish that I could find a real relationship. Like a
meangingful one, one with depth. One with emotional and
spiritual and mental connection. I want a companion. I want
some on I can talk to, some one I can trust. I want some one
to hold me. This is probually why I date older guys, cause
young ones just want to get laid. But older guys just see me
as a child. I'll never win. Fuck guys, I need a chick. I
need to go check out some gay clubs this weekend. Haha. Yea
I'll go with some of my straight so-called friends.