Alcyone

Never Cross the Dotted Line
2002-10-03 01:09:18 (UTC)

Everythings Gone to Shit

Today was a very bad day. I realized, once again, that the
gap between shannon and I is growing larger by the minute.
I can't help the pull life is having on her. I can't
change what's destined to be...I know in my heart that
she's still my *pooky* =), but I can't change the fact that
she's drifting away. It's her choice...and I think diary,
that she has chosen the life she wants to live. I'm just
sorry that i'm not going to be a part of it. It hurts. It
hurts really, really bad...she's been like a sister to me,
and now she's going...she's almost left. And I can't do
anything to stop her. Anything to help her...

Something's wrong w/ James. He's having real
problems...everything is going wrong for him...i wish i
could make it all better. I wish I was more like my mother
so that I could heal all his wounds with a simple hug....

But I can't. Mom is dead...and I can't help...I hate
myself for that.

I'm not feeling so great. I really...in all honesty...just
want to cease to exist. I wish I were dead. It's not
enough anymore. Family, Friends, Dreams...

nothing...nothing...nothing...

I don't know how else to explain it other than that. I
feel nothing. Everything is wrong. Everything is
just...bad.
I just wish I were dead.




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