daccn

I am not a clerk
2002-10-02 00:03:50 (UTC)

Stuffy, madrid

So, I actually took the plunge and booked my plane tickets
to Madrid - leaving in a few weeks. I will spend the week
there with James and Anne, doing who knows what. James isn't
very inclined to "plan" anything; he prefers to set off in a
random direction and seeing what comes of it. I am not one
for rigid structure, but I like to know where I'm going and
what I'm doing when in a strange city.

It's not entirely strange, of course; I've been there once
before, if only for two days and under the close supervision
of older chaperones and spanish-speaking tour guides. This
will be a major step for me, more so than travelling
outside-of-province was. I'm not sure how James, Anne, and I
will mesh while on the trip. When I visit a new city, I love
to spend time just wandering around the commercial area,
window-shopping, taking in the buildings and the people
rushing about. I'm not sure whether James would like to do
things that are a little more active. When he went to Europe
a year or two ago, he would send me e-mails detailing his
rather eccentric exploits such as attending Russian Orthodox
church services, and climbing through obscure tunnels in
that preserved Roman City. Anne will be there too, of
course, and she is more like me, I think, inclined to see
the important sights and take in the scenery. She can also
speak some Spanish, which should help. I find myself
worrying about what I will eat while there, and whether I
will have to be interviewed from a payphone for co-op job
positions. I wonder whether my companions will want to spend
evenings at bars and dance clubs. These are all very minor
things, of course, and I believe strongly that I will enjoy
myself. My first visit left me thirsty for a longer stay,
and now I will have it, in the company of good friends. I am
also happy that they will have stayed there for a week when
I arrive, and had a chance to find a hostel and familiarize
themselves with their surroundings a little.

The ideal situation, co-op-wise, would be that I manage to
find a job before I leave. However, it will likely not work
out that way. I will have to keep in contact with home
through internet cafes. Shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Right now I'm having trouble getting out from under this
cold-ish nauseous stuffy flu thing that's been dragging me
down. I have managed to get some schoolwork done, however.
And I finally finished reading Henry James' "Portrait of a
Lady," which I have been reading in spurts for the last two
years or so. I recognize much of myself in the heroine -
confident, proud, liking the idea of independence but
reluctant to let anyone get too close to her. I know that I
am probably much too haughty/conceited for my own good. I
need to have my heart broken, I think. It would be good for
me. Henry James' heroine ends the book in a state of
desperate unhappiness. Perhaps I should take it as a
warning. Anyway, I loved the book - a slow, luxurious
writing style that somehow manages to be extremely intense.
I found myself wondering how he could craft the perfect
phrase, and was constnantly dazzled by the insight and
perception he displays. Perhaps "The Turn of the Screw"
should be next on my list.




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