Hellz Yeah
2001-07-30 01:35:19 (UTC)

A long ass story

Check it out. We went to this bar the other night, we being
Shadow, Ben, Kay, Simmy and Josiah and of course me, and
everything fell to shit for about twenty minutes. Ben got on
my case because he thought I was flirting with the bartender
who brought us our shots, and maybe I was because I know he
sure as hell doesn't pay any attention to me other than to
put his arm around me and pull me close to him whenever he
wants to look good since he claims that I make him cuter.
Kay flipped out on Ben and told him to stop being a shit
because he was just using me, and had been ever since we
started going out. Kay is Ben's cousin, more like a sister,
she's only a year and a half older than him but they look
like total opposites. She is tall as a tree and lanky and
has this wicked blonde hair that sticks up everywhere but
sheds like a dog in heat, and he has curly brown hair, a
little on the short side but very very cute all the same.
So back to the story, Ben shoved Kay because he was a little
tipsy and told her to stay the fuck out of his business and
that he loved me and she would never fucking understand him
and walked off to the bathroom. Simmy started laughing and
told me "I told you so" because he had been trying to tell
me that Ben loved me for mad amounts of time, since like,
the spring, but I wasn't about to hear it back then. I
shoved Simmy and told him to shut the hell up and got off
the couch we were all sitting on and went back up to the bar
to get another drink. A Manhattan...the best shit in the
world next to Sapphire and Tonic. I was hoping to get the
same bartender, tall with spiked black hair and tight tight
grey T-shirt but he was pouring some shots for a group of
dudes down the bar. Seriously, I kinda knew that Ben loved
me...we've been going out for more than a year and that's a
fucking long time for both of us. Well, not relly for him
because his last girlfriend lasted almost a year too. But
she was a bitch...she hated smoking and drinking...I don't
know how those two got along.
Shadow had come up to the bar, but I was listening to the DJ
spin and wasn't really paying attention to what else was
going on around me...I was floating in a happy wizard of OZ
trance because he finally said the words I wanted to hear
and because I knew that I really didn't want that bartender
anyway. Shadow's "Are you straight?" almost made me jump
out of my skin. I was like, Shadow, I'm fine just let me get
drunk ok? Shadow is the sweetest guy...I had the hugest
crush on him when I first met him cuz he's my kind of guy.
Kind of thugged out...from a bad part of Brooklyn but hella
smart and amazing sweet. I just didn't feel like having him
be the quiet sweet guy at the moment because all i wanted
was Ben. I don't know how i slammed back that drink because
Manhattan's sting the back of my throat for a minute when I
take that first sip, but I did somehow and just left Shadow
standing there. All I wanted to do was dance. And then dance
some more. Just like Jamiroquoi...however the hell you
spell his name. I don't even know how long I had been dancing but
all of a sudden Ben was next to me, his eyes a little red,
but that was from the alcohol. I asked him if he meant what
he said back there and he said of course he did, but he
didn't want to tell me because he didn't know what that
would mean if he told me. I HAAATTTTEEEE that about him! I
told him it didn't have to mean anything, shit, and that I
loved him too, and why couldn't we leave it at "I love you."
He kissed me then...and I remember his beautiful eyes before
he did. Electric brown. And then he hugged me, looked into
my eyes again, smiled and we went back to sit with everyone
else. Kay was still mad at him for shoving her, and just
tried to glare at him when we sat back down but I was like,
guys, squash it, let's order another round and forget about
it, okay? Shadow, who was back on the couch and talking to
Josiah, got up and got us another round, Simmy, who was
still snickering and looking at me, and Josiah, who had just
been watching everything in awe, went to help. Kay marched
her tall ass to the bathroom, and Ben just looked at me. He
was like, I really do love you you know...I just can't
believe how beautiful you always are...always beautiful and
always understanding me. And this, this is a secret
y'all...I really want to marry him sometime...I don't know
when, but I really do. Simmy would laugh his ass off at me
if I told him...damn...this could be a potentially fucked up
situation if Ben finds out...but since I'm not tellin
anyone, he won't have to find out...but shit. I am soooo bad
at keeping secrets.
This entry has been wayyyyyy long...sorry y'all...whenever I
start talking I never never stop.