Life of Nevadagirl
2002-10-01 06:23:25 (UTC)

im so tired. 093002

its monday nite, its 11.13 here and i am tired, been at
this computer surfing around the net for a while now,
people come on who are on my messenger list, but that list
was compiled 2 or more years ago, so if they dont say
anything, hey, i wont either,
i am not likable, but oh well, if there is nothing i can do
about that, then oh well., m crazy m, called tonite, so
that was nice, maybe we should go to a movie or something,
i dont know, we wont talk again for months i bet, i only
see g on the weekend so i can do whatever i want, and im
not sure if thats good or not, i am like always way
confused, so whats new huh? no one reads this, so it doesnt
matter if a stranger reads it and says whoah, way weirdo
i just talk and ramble on but that is what a diary is, at
least thats how i see it, and this is a cool way to do it.
some guy instant messaged me earlier tonite and all he
wanted to talk about was sex , so i told him how im not
having sex cause of church and all, (not that its working,
and i am very upset about that) and so do you think we kept
talking? of course not, guys arent interested unless you
talk about sex, i read some of the entries, and they are
about sex, mine too, about me not wanting to do it and i do i never knew sex really is a big thing in the
world, that sucks, alot of times i wish i hated it, and my
body never wanted it, it seems to cause so many problems
for everyone, does love equal sex? are there any men that
will not have sex until they are married? are there any
girls? i obviously ruined it for myself about 10 years ago,
thats gross, i ve been having sex for 10 years, since i was
16 years old, im so proud of the people i have never had
sex with that i know, how many is that really though????
yuck. i m a pig, no wonder im not married, i want to get
married just to be with one guy, and get that sin gone out
of my life, but is G the one? there are alot of things that
make me say no, i think we are both settling . that can not
make for a good marriage, no way, it cant. i wish things
were so different ................ugh

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