The Nightshade Princess
2002-10-01 01:48:37 (UTC)

Spatter the stars, douse their luminosity

Another wretched day. Life is improving none for me.
My counselor has me thinking far too much again... I
realize that I have never known true happiness in life,
except when I am in HIS arms. My life has been ridicule
and pain, nothing more... This was not the point she was
trying to make, I think. It was a shitty way of growing
up. I think now that if I see my father in person again,
he is likely to lose the use of both his penis and
testicles. I think of this and become startled. I am not
a violent person... I have my mood swings, mind you, but I
never used to be so vicious. One of the many Matts I
happen to know suggested covering him with honey and
strapping him to an ant mound. He also recommended letting
lose a live ferret into the anus of The Ruiner himself. I
laughed at used my stand-by - Rip out the intestines, chop
off the head, stuff the now-vacant cavity with assorted
wrapped candies, sewing the orafice closed with a black
nylon shoelace, suspending the freshly prepared corpse from
the branches of a live oak tree, handing the neighborhood
children a wooden baseball bat, and smile as I watch them
beat the candy from the body like a human piniata. The
dogs may eat the rest. However, the punishment would not
be an appropriate one, since I have suffered the whole of
my life at his hands. He would die far too quickly for
justice to be done. I think it was at this point that Matt
suggested tying my father down and showing him a
pornographic video, attatching live leaches to his member
as it becomes engorged with the blood of the erection
likely to ensue. Change the leaches often enough and he
would most certainly bleed to death, though too happy for
artificial justice to be served.
In my mind now, spirituality and a lifetime of pain
vie for space inside of my mind. Terrible images of death
accentuate the screams in all my nightmares, and in the
evil, lucid dreams of my waking hours. I, who was
possessed of a divine insight! I, who could see above the
haze of ordinary life! I seem to have lost my hope, as has
my sister Soulfire... and I wonder what is to become of