Thoughts from Blue Angel
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2001-07-29 17:20:35 (UTC)

This is Really Bugging Me

Well, whoever you are, you did it. You managed to fuck up
this entire diary experience for me. Now that I have to
account for everything I say in my diary... It's a diary
for God's sake!

I've already left an entry talking about why no one has the
right to condemn me for writing my own thoughts, especially
when I'm not being 100% serious. I didn't know I had to be
Miss Sensitivity 24/7. If we had to please everyone all
the time here, it'd be no better than the face we all put
on to go through our everyday lives! Is that what this
site is for? HELL NO! So if someone says something you
don't like, deal with it! This is their place for
expressing whatever they feel like saying whenever they
feel like saying it, no matter whether they mean it to the
deepest depths of their hearts or not. Moreover, no one
should be judged for what they write here, and no one has a
right to tell someone whether they are right or wrong or to
TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY. Reading someone else's diary is
a very delicate thing, and I personally - no matter how
much I disagreed with someone- would NEVER make a negative
comment to them.

So you're disappointed in me? Sorry, but I didn't know I
had to be perfect. Is that what you want? Perfection in a
damn diary? Sorry, but I'm not perfect, and my thoughts
are not perfect. So fuck your disappointment. I get
enough of it in the real world without having to face that
on a damn online diary site! I think you've completely
missed the point, my friend.

Ok, so now I give you the side of me that is trying not to
be bitter.....

I understand your hurt. Some of the things I said were
harsh, but you have to understand that they weren't meant
to be taken badly, and that I REFUSE to make the fact that
people read this diary affect what I say. That's the whole
point of being anonymous, because as soon as anyone got to
know me (which some of you obviously have... and that makes
it hard), I'd be put back into the situation where I felt I
had to be perfect.

Do I think of fat people as less than human? Absolutely
not, and I'm offended that you would accuse me of that!
Does that mean I don't have a right to be glad that I'm not
heavier than I am? No.

The point I'm trying to make is that this is not some e-
zine or publication. It's a personal diary which I feel I
can share with others- but that sharing is voluntary on
both sides.

If you are offended by my thoughts, don't read.

I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings, although I'm not sorry
for saying what I did, because I feel that I had a right,
and nothing that I said was hateful or intolerant. I might
go back and change the entry to say what I would have said
if I would have approached the subject more seriously,
since that's what you want- my edited thoughts.

By the way, thanks Luna! :)

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