Silver web spun of a twisted imagination
2002-10-01 00:03:57 (UTC)

Hold me, Thrill me, Kiss me, Kill me

I think that's it.
The right title.
I'm rewriting this because I wrote it night before last or
maybe last but I got kicked off just before I saved it.
I remember what I wrote though.
Pretty much verbatim, most of it anyway.
Well I was saying that I feel this weight, this heaviness.
It's not sharp like pain so it must be grief.
It is always there but sometimes less substantial.

I've been noticing the sky more though and it's beautiful.
It helps, it's always so breathtaking.
Like just before the sun sets and the clouds are orange.
It was like that the other night.
It looked like the God took a paint brush and dipped it in
the sinking sun,
Used it to paint the clouds the most brilliant shade of
orange. Lol. Vivid tangerine. Always reminds me of Joe.
Sometimes I'll look up ahead of me walking and wonder if
anyone else is appreciating the beauty and wonder as I am.
There are some times when I wonder how anyone can not see
the overwhelming beauty.
Okay this rewriting thing's not working but oh well.
Anyway, the sky helps.
I wonder if Tim and Joe will ever realize how hard it was
for me.
I guess that's why I need to talk to Tim.
Try to salvage some kind of friendship,
or at least a level of understanding that doesn't include
hate.I don't want him to hate me.
I think maybe Joe wants me to shut the door.
I won't but I think he slammed it already.
My end is still open but I don't think he'll ever follow
and the door will just close on its own.
Ironic the first anime chick I draw that turns out
wonderfully and Joe hates me.
He needs friends right now he really does.
Patrick is trying, but I get the impression that Tim's
wrapped in this breakup or whatever new and dramatic word
is being used for this disaster.
I don't know.