i_4_ivy

BLAH!
2002-09-30 23:34:55 (UTC)

feeling blah

i've always feel blah.... always's like 90% of... well... i
donno, my life, i guess... i don't know what i want
anymore, it's not even funny. i mean, i sit here, looking
through random stuff on the computer, thinking that i'll
eventually find something that i wanna do later.... but i
don't... i was drving from ccsn to unlv today after my
chemistry class, like every other monday and wendesday....
i was looking into the the mirror trying to switch lanes, i
was starring at the mirror, then there goes a flashback. 4
or 5 years ago i was sitting in the car with my mom,
waiting to pick up my older sister from school, the engin
was running and everything, but the car was parked. anyhow,
i don't remember why, but i wanted to look at myself in the
mirror. all of the sudden i just grab on to the rear view
mirror (the one in the middle), and turn it toward the
passenger's side, and start looking at myself through it.
my mom was like, "what are you doing? do you know you are
not suppose to touch that? it's meant for looking back, not
you. i just kind of sat there and didn't respond. the
moment i hold out my hand and grab the mirror, i know she
is going to say those exact words, but for some reason i
didn't care, i just want to do it. anyways, that was the
flashback... i see myself doing the same thing over and
over again, it's not even funny. i do things that i know
it's going to harm myself. i dived for the ball knowing
that i foot won't go with me, i backup knowing i am going
to hit the car behind me, i fell in love with frank knowing
there cant be anything between us.... agggrrrr, that piss
me off......


i can't find my geology lab book, can i have yours? hehehehe




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