Welcome to MY wOrLd
2002-09-30 20:35:05 (UTC)

Boring Monday...

Hey I had an extra few minutes before one of my classes, so i
went down by the lake and wrote something... it kinda
explains stuff in a bizare way.. well here i thought you
all should read it. Its about change. and just people in
general. I know its kinda wierd to read, but i love
writing and i thought maybe someone would enjoy reading it
and take something from it..... well here ya go..

And I'd never be the same, For the first time I realized
it, It wasn't that everyone else was changing as much as
the fact that I had changed.

I can't honestly tell you how or what happend, But i wasnt
always like this. I realized it was me and that all my
dillemas had changed me. And from then on I realized that
I was destined to this curse. The curse of unconditional
love and sympathy. Even when un-welcomed and unappreciated.

So is that all I must do? Live with this burden, this
curse, or is there someway, anyways, to reverse it. The
fact that I feel like the same small town girl when inside
I'm not. That was it. I have changed. I learned to love,
love someone other than myself. And it's this damn curse
taht's killing me, every day over and over.

The want to help those who need help, the feeling of
seeing past the masks many people wear. And I will plee to
a God, I dont even believe in. And My small world
Broadens.. and i see a bigger picture. I want to help but
can't. Neglecting and disrespecting myself in order to
please others I knew it will never change, but continue.

I've been hurt. By actions, words, and untold emotions.
People have hurt me. So with this realization and with my
curse strapped on my back, I carry on. And i thank those
who have hurt me, for I am stronger than before, and I
know I can Carry On. But yet promise and refuse to fall
into the cliche of 'moving on', cause who would want to
forget everything that formed them into their reborn self.
But I shall carry on with my burden and my distressed
heart. My life is a constant proof, I can get through