lisa

A ShiTTy GaMe CaLL LiFe
2002-09-29 16:14:38 (UTC)

Don't Speak...Don't Tell Me Cuz It Hurts.....

sunday 09.29.02 8:59am

i woke up early today, just like i do everyday. but i did
not get out of bed until about an hour later. i just
tossed and turned in bed wondering the same thoughts again
and again.

why do i have a strong feeling that this is what i should
do? i don't know if this is what is best, but i am so
tired. he is definitely worth the wait, but again, i am
soooo tired of this. he is the most important person to
me...in a way that nobody has been. it's heartbreaking to
know that i am not even nearly as important to him. it's
sad enough to know this as a fact, but to be reminded again
and again is just too much to handle.

i remember the days when i used to be one of the few things
that make him happy. he used to call me just to tell me
that he misses me, or even just to say good nite.
now..everytime i see him, i still get the tingles inside,
just like back in the days when i see him once every other
month. but now i kno that i'm just one of the things he
has to "deal with".

i dunno if this is the decision i should make. i'm so
scared cuz i kno i might regret it. if i do decide to let go, i kno
that i will NOT be more happy...it's just that things will be easier
for him ...and in the weirdest way...probably easier for me too.....


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