Brittany

summary

Well, I decided that my first entry should be a quick
summary of my life and why I decided to open this diary---
and allow it to be open to the public. I usually think that
people who allow their lives to be exposed like this are
crazy, but now that I am doing it I feel as though I have a
valid excuse. Isn't that always the case? Making excuses
for yourself and your behavior. Anyway, I opened it b/c I
can type a lot faster than I can write. Also, I am getting
tired of finding hiding places for my diary. I guess the
reason I decided to make it public will be better explained
when I explain what is going on in my life...
I am a college student and absolutely love college.
Unfortuantely I love my boyfriend a lot more than my
college and I am changing colleges just b/c of him. It's
crazy isn't it?? I am losing a ton of scholarship money
doing this and I am losing all of my friends and my
sorority sisters, but I am doing it in the name of love.
Needless to say, I am beginning to get very, very nervous as the
change is appoaching. In fact, I have a week until I move into my new
apartment. Now I know that this is the right decision, but I can't
help but have my doubts. I mean, this is a massive change in my
life!! If something goes wrong in our relationship then I will regret
this decision for the rest of my life. I will have left all of my
friends to attend a place where I only know 3 people and I will have
left a place where school was paid for b/c of scholarships to attend
a place where I will have to work my butt off everyday to pay for the
place. Oh gosh. I just pray that I meet friends as wonderful as the
ones that I have at school and that I enjoy this new university as
much as I enjoyed my old university. Am I absolutely crazy for doing
this?? There are days that I wake up and think I'm crazy and then
there are days that I wake up and think that I'm not b/c I am so
deeply in love w/ this guy. Does anyone understand?? I really have no
one to talk to about my fears of this move b/c my friends are against
it, my parents are spending too much money for me to regret the
decision and my b/f gets his feelings hurt when he knows that I am
not thrilled about the move. All he says is "everything will be fine"
when I try to discuss it w/ him. Deep down I know that everything
will be fine, but I want him to listen to my concerns and not try to
stop me from talking by saying things will be fine. Well, I've
rambled enough now. It's probably evident that this topic has been on
my mind everyday throughout the summer. Well, I will write again
soon. Unfortuantely this diary will probably be my bithching post b/c
I won't have anyone else to bitch to about the negative aspects of
the change. But I will write again soon whether it is good news or
bad news.
--Brittany :-)