Dawn

Dawn
2002-09-27 10:22:02 (UTC)

friday

ok, so today's been a day from hell and the best day all
rolled into one. i keep having panic attaks after last
night, and those images keep flashing through my head. i
really can't take much more of them. but work was really
cool, my boss was in a really good mood and she's sooo cool
to get on with when she's like that. then my kids came in
and had lunch with me and it was such a treat for me and
they were so well behaved. i was really proud of them.

so, anyway, here i am now, drunk and disappointed in myself
for being drunk, but how else do you deal with these
images. you have to block them out with something. maybe
i'll block out enough so that i won't feel anything at
all. that would be the ultimate ... not feel depressed,
not feel scared, not feel panic, not feel anger, just feel
total and complete numbness ...

i think i'll just keep drinking until oblivion hits




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